Page 18 of Awaken My Heart

“Saddle Creek is you?”

I think for a moment before answering, unsure if I’m ready to pile all my family drama on him. “Are you sure you want to know my sad story?”

“I definitely want to know.”

I take a sobering breath before I start speaking. “Before my mom ran off and left me with her mom, things had been bad. We lived in a single-wide on a piece of land that was too close to one of the bayous, so flooding was always a threat. My mom had a significant drug problem, so I had to learn to be resourceful if I wanted to, you know, eat or whatever. I learned to clean my own clothes in the tiny bathroom sink.

“I lived at the public library when I wasn’t in school because it was climate controlled and full of books. Pretty damn magical for a poor trailer park kid.”

“We have a great library here in Saddle Creek,” he says.

“I know. It was one of the first things I checked on before I made my decision to move here.”

He nods. “Go on.”

“Right. So, mom, drug problem, lots of in and out boyfriends.”

He tenses beside me. “None of them ever touched you, did they?” His voice is low and deadly.

I shake my head. “No. Thankfully that never happened.”

“Good.”

“Anyways, about the time of my tenth birthday my mom brought me to my grandma’s and said she’d be back to get me, but she never came.”

“I’m sorry, darlin.”

“It’s okay. Like a strong sword, I was forged in fire. I’m a survivor, as they say.”

“Grandma’s house wasn’t any better?” he asks.

“The house was fine. I mean it still had wheels under it, but it was a double wide and Grandma kept it clean. She just wasn’t the sweet grandmotherly type. The one that bakes cookies and tucks you in with a pile of stuffies. She was more like Lady Catherine de Bourgh from Pride and Prejudice.”

He visibly winces. “Darcy’s aunt, right?”

If I had ovaries, they would be clenching right about now because, this man!

“Yes, that’s the one. Her voice was so sharp. She’d say Emily in this tone and it made me hate my name. That’s why I started going by Emma when I moved her.”

“Emma fits you.”

“Don’t get me wrong. She took care of me. I was fed and clothed and safe. I just wasn’t coddled.

“Sounds more like you weren’t loved.”

His words are like a cold, wet blanket settling over my shoulders.

No man will ever want you now that you’re defective.

That’s what my grandmother said to me after my complete hysterectomy a week after my eighteenth birthday.

chapter

thirteen

Bram

I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms and assure her that everything will be okay. That she’s an amazing woman despite her upbringing. She’s so vivacious and full of life; she is the flame the rest of us moths are drawn to.