Page 1 of Mister McStudmuffin

chapter

one

Chelsea

Three years ago…

I’ve always had a thing for Elliot Stabler.

Something about the scowl, the tense jaw and the hard body. But I’d be a damn liar if I said that his tightly shaved—nearly bald head didn’t make him ten times hotter.

For those of you who might have been living under a rock for the past two decades, Elliot is a detective on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and he is scrumptious.

Television detectives aside, it’s probably not all that unusual for a woman to have a thing for attractive, bald men. Especially if he’s a guy who knows how to rock the facial hair. A guy with tattoos crawling up his arms. The kind of tattoos that he keeps locked down. The kind he doesn’t show off, but that are hinted at by the dark ink on his wrist and the backs of his hands. He’s got a scowl that tightens all of his features into sharp ridges. Makes him look intense and so damn sexy. Yep, like Elliot Stabler.

Him, as in the seriously delicious man who just stepped into the bullpen next to another guy who looks like he might have just walked out of a men’s cologne ad. Who knew there were men this hot working here? I mean, I would have still accepted the job regardless, because I’m here for a reason.

That reason is not to meet hot men.

I half-heartedly laugh at something the woman from HR—Angela, I think—is saying about conference room B.

“Really, just wall-to-wall snacks all the time.” She glances down at my full figure.

I hope she doesn’t say anything about me needing to watch out for extra calories. I’d hate to get fired on my first day for throat-punching the head of the human resources department. Especially because I really want to work here. Specifically, H & J Funds. Most finance companies don’t offer full tuition for MBAs and if they do, you have to have worked for them for upwards of three years before benefiting. H & J Funds pays a hundred percent of tuition for continuing education after six months of employment.

And their employee retention is the highest in Austin. Among any employer, not just in the financial district. Not only that, but I can learn from the best in the business.

My eyes stop again on the tall, bald, and grumpy one across the room. His steely gaze is locked on me. I suck in a breath, because being the object of so much intensity is a heady experience. The dark blue pinstripe suit—obviously bespoke—only serves to accent the breadth of his shoulders and the thickness of his thighs.

I pull my gaze away, then wipe my chin, because maybe today is the day I start drooling. I mean, that happens, right?

Then it occurs to me that maybe I’m not dressed professionally enough.

“Is there a dress code?” I ask Angela.

“Business casual Monday through Thursday and blue-jeans casual on Fridays.”

“What’s with those guys, then?” I ask, nodding to the handsome duo.

I sneak another glance at the tall one and find him staring at me again. This time when our eyes meet, a slow and very deliberate smile appears on his face. That one right there, that’s the smile they call the panty-melter. Panty-dampener? Whatever.

Either way, I’m now questioning my choice of wearing a pencil skirt today.

“Those are our CEOs, Hayes Crawford and JD Granger.” She leans a little closer. “Gorgeous, aren’t they?”

“Uh… yeah.”

“They know it, too.” She makes a noise of clucking disapproval. “Not to say they’re not good guys. They’re the best bosses ever. But they’re also big-time players. Best to stay away from them in that area so you don’t get fired.”

“Has that happened before?”

“Not since I’ve been here. But I heard there was a woman named Brenda who slept with JD and then got fired a month later.”

“Isn’t that illegal? Did she not sue for sexual harassment?”

“There was justifiable cause. And to be honest, after working here, JD is a teddy bear, so I’m sure there was more involved with that situation. Just be forewarned.”

“Players. Got it.” In other words, keep my lady boner to myself and do not develop a crush on my new boss. “Uh, so dress code, because they don’t look business casual?”