Page 14 of Doctor’s Orders

That had not gone as planned. Granted, I hadn’t had a specific plan. I’d been acting on anger because the thought of her moving away, leaving Saddle Creek—leaving me—made me panic.

Which doesn’t make any sense, because I’ve known her for less than a month.

And I’ve never been prone to panicking about anything. I’m a forty-eight year old man, for fuck’s sake.

I at least got her to agree to stay and be my nurse. And I promised not to suggest we have an affair or have benefits. But she’s staying. If I can’t have her in my bed, I can at least see her most days. And she’s excellent at her job. Always anticipating what I need before I even know.

We work together as if we’ve been doing it for years. Lizzie feels like my partner, not my nurse. And I don’t know what the fuck to do with that feeling. All I know is, I want more. More of her. More of us.

If I’m truly honest with myself, I was changing before I even met Lizzie. After Bram met Emma, I started noticing how very alone I am. Not in every regard of my life, of course. I have my sister, Rebecca. She and her husband, Jack, have an entire brood of children. I suppose the Blankenship’s are not really children anymore. But their house is always a flurry of activities if I need some company.

When Bram and Lisa got married right out of high school, it was to be expected. I don’t remember ever looking at them and feeling envious of what they had. He was single so long after she passed. I guess I took for granted we’d be two old single farts, drinking beer and complaining about the weather.

Then he met Emma. We stopped hanging out as much, which wasn’t surprising, and I certainly don’t begrudge him his happiness. The man raised four kids essentially by himself. If anyone deserves a happy ending, it’s Bram.

It was around that time, though, that I started noticing how big my house is. How unnecessarily large it is for a single man. Why did I ever think I’d need this much space, especially when I’ve always been determined to remain single?

It’s time for me to start using my house more. Maybe host a few get-togethers. Fuck, that sounds like a lot of work. Still, being with Lizzie is easy, so I take out my phone and shoot her a text.

ME: Pancake breakfast at my house tomorrow.

ME: You and the kids.

LIZZIE: Are you sure? They can be a lot, especially my son.

ME: I’m a pediatrician because I love kids. I’m not afraid of your toddler.

LIZZIE: Maybe put all your breakables up high or lock them in a room.

ME: Let me know if anyone has any allergies.

I want to keep texting her. I want to call her and hear her voice. But since I’m not usually a chatty kind of guy, I just pocket my phone and turn on the television.

chapter

nine

Lizzie

I barely slept last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about Graham. His proposition. Which had been unbelievably difficult to say no to. Just being near him made me feel nearly feral with desire. I wanted more naked time with him. And honestly, him being my boss wasn’t even a factor in me saying no. It had one hundred percent been about him only mentioning sex.

Because like the fool I am, I’d already fallen for the man. I couldn’t just have sex with him. And before you say that this kind of thing happens between one-night-stands all the time—especially if one party isn’t experienced—let me stop you right there. The truth is, I like him. I like him in a way that has nothing to do with the number of orgasms I’ve had in his proximity.

Liking him is dangerous. Lust, I can handle. But like is uncomfortably close to the other L-word. I’m not ready to go there. Going there would definitely mean heartbreak for me.

After I’d told him no to having an affair, he’d made me promise that I’d continue being his nurse. Of course, I had done just that. Because I didn’t want to leave Saddle Creek. I didn’t want to leave my sister. More than anything, I didn’t want to leave Graham.

So yeah, I got very little sleep last night, which is why I’m currently drinking my second cup of coffee this morning. Even if I hadn’t been tired, I would have had a second cup because it’s delicious. I don’t know what he does differently, but his coffee is perfect.

He’d texted again this morning and told me that we should come in our pjs and eat pancakes and watch some Christmas movies.

Like the dumbass I am, I carried Bennett over in his little footy pajamas and Lydia walked in front of me dressed in her latest princess sleep set. I’d, of course, changed. I was still sorta dressed in pajama-ish clothing (yoga pants and a t-shirt) but I’d put on a bra and a tiny bit of make-up.

Graham had opened the door to us, all smiles, wearing an old Baylor University School of Medicine shirt. The faded gray fabric molded to his thick torso, making his biceps bulge. His flannel pajama pants did nothing to hide the meatiness of his ass.

He’d handled the meeting of my kids with an ease their own father never had, and both of my kids had latched on to him quickly. Of course, Bennett had loved being able to scoot his toy cars on the wood flooring. Graham had assured me it wouldn’t scratch. But I winced every time my son scraped along near me.

While he’s busy playing with the kids, I shoot my sister a quick text.