Page 24 of Mr. McHunky

chapter

eleven

Emory

Once all the oxytocin and dopamine lowers post orgasms, the reality sets in. I’m still on Jude’s lap and he’s softening inside me.

He gives me an achingly sweet smile.

Then Rosie is scratching at the door asking to go out.

“Uh,” I say.

“I’ll get her,” Jude says. He gives me a sweet kiss, then lifts me off his lap. After taking care of the condom and slipping back on his sweatpants, he takes Rosie outside.

Self-consciously, I stand and pull my clothes from the night before back on. I don’t regret the sex. It was amazing. But I’m not sure what to do now. I don’t have hookups. At least not anymore. I went through a very short phase when I was eighteen—right after Buck died—where I made some poor choices.

That had just been teenage rebellion and a young, sad girl looking for anyone to belong to. It hadn’t worked, and I’d stopped before things had gotten bad.

Funny though, nothing with Jude felt like just sex. With him, there had been a connection I’ve only ever read about in books or seen in movies.

My silly heart was filled with hope. The cynical part of me, my self-preserving brain, tried to remind me that this wasn’t how things worked out for me. I’d had sex with a man who’d been celibate for more than a decade. Of course he’d wanted me when we were naked in the bed together.

He comes back in while I’m in the midst of this inner turmoil. He stops short when he sees my face.

“Whoa, Peaches, what’s the matter?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit.

Rosie jumps on the bed and licks my hand, then curls her little body next to me.

Jude kneels on the floor in front of me. He tucks my hair behind my ears. “Hey, what does that mean?”

Rosie leans her head to reach him and licks his hand too. Her show of affection unlocks something inside me. My pup has always been a good judge of character. She’s alerted me more than once when there’s been someone unsavory near by, and it’s saved my ass.

“She likes you,” I tell Jude.

“I like her too. I’m hoping that you like me as well,” he says.

Is it possible that he could be scared just like me?

“I like you as well,” I say, finding it impossible to lie.

He gives me a sexy smile. “I want you to know that I see you, Emory. I know this thing between us is happening at light speed. It’s not too fast for me at all because I’ve been waiting for you. But I can see the apprehension in your eyes.”

“You don’t know me, not really. We only just met.” Even as I say the words, they feel untrue.

He cups my face, thumbing away tears I didn’t even know had escaped. “My heart knows you. That’s all that matters to me.”

“What does any of that mean?” I ask.

“It means I’m all in, Peaches. I don’t want just last night or just a fling. I’m in this with you for the long haul.”

I blink at him, still unsure of what he’s trying to communicate to me.

“I’ll always have your back. I’ll always protect you and take care of you. If you’ll let me.”

“I can take care of myself,” I say.