Page 12 of Happily Evan After

DANE: Why am I not surprised that the two of you hit it off?

FLYNN: What does that mean?

JACK: I think it’s a two birds of a feather comment.

FLYNN: For me and Keller? I’ll take it.

LIAM: He’s an amazing kid. I’ll be proud to call him my son.

ROMEO: You doing that legally or just claiming him with your words?

LIAM: Legally. Blake is working on the petition of adoption now.

DANE: That’s great. Congrats.

ROMEO: Where’s the kid?

JACK: Yeah, he normally lives for these group chats.

DANE: Evan! WTF are you?

ME: I’m here. Sorry. What did I miss?

FLYNN: What are we missing?

ME: What?

ROMEO: Yeah, what’s going on with you, Kid? You’ve been in a shit mood for months.

This is when I could open up to my closest friends and tell them about my night with the woman of my dreams. Known only to me as “Evie” or Dimples, and presumably out of my life like a phantom. I could probably ask Flynn to see if he could work some computer magic to find her for me. But truthfully, I don’t have enough information to go on. Besides, she made it clear she wanted only one night. I have too much dignity to chase someone who doesn’t want to be chased. And I respect all women enough to back off if they’re not interested. So instead, I skip my romantic woes and complain about the veterinarian.

ME: It’s that fucking vet bossing me around like I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I was a special forces medic for fuck’s sake. I think I can handle a few canine vaccinations.

DANE: Uh-oh.

ROMEO: You are so screwed, my brother.

FLYNN:

ME: I hope you’re not suggesting that I’m into her.

BEAU: We would never.

ME: Seriously, she’s not even nice to me. Also, I haven’t even met her.

ME: She could be a 65-year-old woman.

ME: I just don’t get what I could have done to warrant her hostility.

ME: She’s questioned everything.

ME: And she sent me a how-to video!

ME: To give an injection!

ME: She’s clearly just a grouch. I mean, really, have y’all ever met a grumpy veterinarian?

JACK: Well, they do have to deal with some tough situations.