Page 66 of Zombies, Satyrs and Vampires, Oh My!

“Yeah, I guess I am. My fourth foster mom loved them and played pretty much just those. Well, those movies and Wheel of Fortune. I love eighties movies. They’re the best. The teen rom-coms, the horrors that were also comedies, just all of them. So am I right? Is that what you were going for?”

“Pretty much.”

“I’m impressed. You really went all-out for this.” She points a finger at me like I’m a naughty boy. “I would not have pegged you for a cosplayer. I mean, not that I’d peg you. Unless that’s something you’re into. And then I probably would …” Her eyes go wide, as if she’s just realized what she said. “Oh my God, I’m sorry that I have no filter.”

Her eyes close and she shakes her head. “I came here to apologize for my inappropriate voice memo and then I just said something way worse. I mean who offers to peg their boss?” she asks in a hushed voice.

I don’t know whether to laugh or kiss her. She is so fucking adorable.

“It’s fine, Rosie. Maybe you should just go. We can forget about the voice memo. It won’t affect your job. I can switch you to be under my second in command’s charge if it will make you feel more comfortable.”

“Please don’t do that. I really enjoy working with you. I know I’m probably a pest, but I really do want to make your life easier. So I hope you’ll let me continue being your assistant.” Her big brown eyes look at me pleadingly.

“Fine. We’ll figure it out.” I scan the lobby to see that the monsters are all watching our interaction. Most with open curiosity, but a few with a predatory gleam that I don’t like. “But you should go ahead and leave.”

“Not a good idea, boss man,” Chester says from behind me.

I shoot a glare at him. “Why is that?”

“Nasty storm approaching. It really wouldn’t be safe for her to be out there in the woods during the dark and the rain.”

“My car has headlights,” she offers.

I swallow a chuckle. “How bad of a storm?” I ask my familiar.

“Potential flash floods, upwards of six inches in an hour in some places.”

“Fuck.” I blow out a breath. Something about Screaming Woods attracts not just monsters, but dramatic weather patterns as well. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. Rosie, come with me.” Again, I take her elbow and drag her with me. I should probably slow my steps since her legs are considerably shorter than mine, but I don’t.

But then she comes to a screeching halt. “Wait. Figs!”

“What?”

“My cat. He was napping in his kennel, so I just left him in there since the weather was cool enough.”

I hold out my hand. “Keys.”

She drops them into my palm. “Chester, go get Ms. Breit’s belongings from her car. Including her cat.” I practically spit that last word.

“Do you not like cats? You’re not allergic, are you?” she asks.

“No, cats are fine. They just normally don’t like me. We’ll be in my suite,” I tell my familiar after Rosie gives him a description of her vehicle.

And then I’m leading my gorgeous assistant up to my private suite. Again, I say, fuck my life.