Page 7 of Zombies, Satyrs and Vampires, Oh My!

chapter

four

Vivian

I stare at the door where my host had just left, not quite understanding what had happened. He’d seemed almost offended or disappointed somehow.

I fall back on the sofa to mentally recount everything that had happened to me since I’d driven into Screaming Woods. The half deer, half man I’d sworn I’d seen peeking out at me from behind the dilapidated population sign on the outskirts of town.

Then, just as I was trying to access the keys to the cabin I’d rented, I was attacked by the giant bug man. Like a moron, I dropped my car keys. Since I couldn’t get back into the car, I’d run into the woods. Only to be rescued by the hottest man I’d ever seen in my life… who just happened to be a damn zombie.

Maybe none of this was real. Maybe I had a car accident on the drive in and I was unconscious somewhere or in a coma. Maybe I’d died.

I pinch my arm and wince. Nope, definitely felt that. I should probably call reinforcements. I hit the call button on my best friend’s face and wait for her to answer.

“Did you make it to wherever mysterious location you were traveling to?” Harriet asks in lieu of a usual greeting.

This is the way it is with us. There’s never a basic ‘hello, how are you?’ Instead, whomever speaks first just jumps in with a ‘You will never guess what I saw…’ or ‘Do not eat past the sell-by-date on the tuna fish no matter what the internet says…’ or ‘my sister tried the pineapple and oral sex trick with her new boyfriend and said it totally works…’

Harry has been my best friend since we roomed together our freshman year in college. She’s the closest thing to a sister I have. The closest thing to a family I have, for that matter.

For most of my life, it was just me and my mom. We moved around a lot, going from one big adventure to another. Until she got sick, that is. After she passed, I spent two years living with a distant aunt until I went off to college. While I was grateful to have a place to live for those years, it never felt like home.

Since college, I’ve reverted to the lifestyle I had growing up. Moving from city to city. I alternate between gigs as a long-term house sitter and short-term rentals. It works well, since I make my living writing novels. As much as I love my nomadic lifestyle, I do miss Harry, even though we talk nearly every day.

So yeah, I pretty much tell Harry everything, but I did not tell her where I would be living for the next few months. First of all, there would have been zero possibility of me getting here without her either stowing away in my car or following me.

I still haven’t decided if I should tell her where I am. I mean technically we found out about Screaming Woods together.

“Yes, I’m safe.”

She sucks in an audible breath. “Oh my God, you met someone!” she shrieks. “Already? Are you on a singles cruise without me?”

I laugh. “No. You know I’d be vomiting my intestines out if I were on a ship. I barely made it through the boat tour we went on with the bats that one time in Austin. Remember?”

She snorts. “Oh yeah. So, tell me more.”

“I did meet someone.” I don’t even bother asking how she knew. That’s just the way it is between us. We know each other that well. “Barely. I don’t know, it’s weird.”

“Details, Viv.”

I loosely give her the information without describing the actual monsters I’ve met. Merely the situation I was in.

“So like did that first creep mug you or whatever? Do you need me to wire you money or something?”

“No. He just… uh, came on really strong.”

“But the guy who saved you, you like him?”

I roll her question around in my mind for a few seconds before answering. I’m sprawled out on his sofa, staring up at the ceiling of his study, searching for the words to describe my experience with Atticus.

“I’m intrigued. Definitely attracted. My lady parts took notice immediately.” I sigh. “He’s just so different.”

“Different is good. Especially for you,” Harry says. “I know what you’re thinking and just stop it. There is nothing true about what Brian said about you. There’s nothing abnormal about you.”

I snort. “I appreciate the support, honestly, I do. But don’t you think it’s a bit weird that I’m as close to thirty as I am and I’m still a virgin?”

“Okay, first of all, you’re twenty-six, that’s not that close to thirty. Secondly, Brian was a twatwaffle who clearly only wanted in your pants and was too impatient to wait to see if you thought he was worth it.”