Page 18 of Worth Your Wild

“My come is the price you pay for existing, little girl.”

“I want it,” she whines.

“Good,” I growl, shoving her thighs open and plowing her with a slack jaw, my eyes seeing nothing. Blinded by pleasure. My hips are out of control, pummeling. Pummeling. “Take it. Take it whether you want it or not.”

I take off.

I simply take off.

I’m not rooted to the bed anymore. Or reality. My body is nothing but an experience, jolting with unmitigated waves of bliss, one on top of the other. Sperm spews from the head of my cock and bathes her womb while we both shake, gasping for air, clawing at one another’s skin, and I tilt my hips and bear down, as if I want to get her pregnant.

Maybe I do.

Maybe I want to get her pregnant ten times.

Maybe I can’t imagine going a day without her ever again.

It’s a very inconvenient time to realize how infatuated I am with this girl, because when I collapse on top of her and look at her sweet face, when I notice the angelic fragility and youth of her body, I’m reminded…my God, I’m twice her age.

Not only that, I’m a drunk has-been.

A renowned asshole.

What was I thinking wanting to get her pregnant? Tying this young girl down would be my cruelest move yet. And ironically, she’s the thing making me want to be a better man.

A better man than someone who handcuffs a girl in her prime.

Sleeping with her was bad enough. But…permanency?

I beat back the potent wave of happiness that comes over me when I think about keeping June with me…always. Instead of just the three days she’s on tour.

But that kind of happiness isn’t for old bastards like me.

SEVEN

June

When I wake up the next morning, Deke is already dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed. Immediately, I’m hit with a bad feeling. My throat constricts and hollowness creeps into my stomach. I consider pretending to be asleep a little longer, just so I can savor the intimacy of sleeping beside him, even if it was only for one night, but no. I need to face the music like a big girl, so I sit up against the headboard with a pillow tight to my chest.

Deke faces away from me in his signature black T-shirt and jeans. His hat is in place, his head bowed forward, hands clasped loosely between his long legs. This is the man who made love to me last night in the exact way I’ve needed it for so long. In the exact way I’ve always dreamed of, twisted though it was. Last night wasn’t something cheap or sordid. It was a celebration of the secret I’ve held for so long. It was validation.

This morning, I’m no longer a prisoner of shame.

Deke set me free.

It appears he’s on the verge of setting me even freer, however.

I can read his body language. And I want to lunge toward him and wrap my arms around his thick body from behind. I want to beg him not to give me whatever speech he’s got planned to let me down easy. But I can’t find the words. They’re stuck underneath the lump in my throat.

“Morning,” Deke says gruffly, without turning around.

I banish the object in my throat with a heavy swallow. “Morning.” My voice is wobbly. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine.”

Liar. It was better than fine. We slept naked and entwined. It was glorious.

“Listen, June Bug.” He swipes off his hat and runs five fingers through his hair. “Last night was…incredible. It was something special. But it was a one-time thing. Understand?”