Page 9 of Feel Me

“We had Jeff escort him back to the bunkhouse to pack his shit. He has thirty minutes to get his ass off our property.” I nod, knowing that nothing about this is sitting right with me. “You got something to say, Lake, you might as well say it,” Carson adds.

“Don’t get me wrong. You all have been good to me. You took a chance on me and made sure I got medical treatment. I owe you more than I can ever repay, even though I’m going to try. I have just never seen you act so quickly against one of your employees. I don’t understand what he did that made it so you couldn’t give him a second chance. Sure, he hit on the girl, but immediately firing him just seems wrong.”

“It wasn’t just one time. He’s been approaching her constantly. This was just the first time he was aggressive to the point that he made suggestive statements. Bottom line, we have zero tolerance when it comes to harassing others on our ranch. You’ve told me yourself that Ray is an asshole, Lake,” Colt chimes in.

“He is. This is your call. It’s not my place to second-guess you. I didn’t mean any disrespect,” I tell them at once.

“Livy is special to all of us. She’s had a very hard life, Lake. She feels safe here. I’m not going to allow that asshole to take that from her,” Coop adds, making me frown.

“What do you⁠—”

“Don’t ask. It’s not our story to tell,” Carson interrupts, guessing about what I was going to ask.

“Okay,” I answer, frowning. “If that’s all, I’m going to head out. I’ve got some things I need to see to.”

We all say our goodbyes. I trust these men with my life. Hell, if it wasn’t for them, I’d probably not be alive right now. Still, this whole situation has me reeling. Sadly, I think it boils down to the way I react to Olivia. Something about this woman apparently lures men in, and it pisses me off that I’m somehow allowing myself to be one of them.

Fucking hell.

When I make it to the bunkhouse, I’m relieved that Ray’s truck is already gone. Somehow, I think seeing him would just make things worse. I steer away from the other men who are hanging around. As one of the men who report directly to Colt—who runs this part of the ranch—I am one of just a few who have their own room. It’s small. With the bed and nightstand in here, you can barely turn around. Still, I can sleep without everyone around me, which I’m grateful for. As I flop down on the bed, I debate going to the shower house, but I don’t want to have to talk to anyone. Everything about this afternoon has put me on edge. It’s too early to turn in, but I need a break. I text Colt to let him know I’m taking the evening off. I don’t explain. I figure if he wants to know, he’ll ask. I’m only mildly surprised when he texts back asking if I’m still good to help guard the house tomorrow. I assure him I’ll be there, then I turn my phone off.

I close my eyes and try to ignore the guilt I feel at questioning my bosses. They don’t deserve it. It just pisses me off that all these men seem to be falling under whatever spell Olivia is weaving. It annoys the holy hell out of me that I seem to be one of them. Something about her just speaks to me, and I hate that it does.

A sharp pain shoots through the back of my head. It’s so intense that I bite down on the inside of my cheek to keep from crying out. Eventually, it eases up, and I let exhaustion take over. Sleep slowly claims me, and I don’t fight it.

Even when visions of a hazel-eyed, honey-haired temptress take over …

7

HE HATES ME

OLIVIA

“Cross, Winnie told me you and Deb were coming to her and Blake’s place tonight for dinner. You need to do that and live your life. I’m fine.”

“You weren’t fine when I showed up yesterday,” he points out.

I sigh because he’s absolutely right. I was a mess. In truth, it was a rough night. Still, I survived, and I did it without having a panic attack. For me, that’s a win—a big one. “You’re right,” I admit, knowing that lying to him would make it worse.

“Damn right I am. That’s why I’m exactly where I need to be,” Cross counters.

“I was bad yesterday. Today, I’m fine. I survived the night without a panic attack. I didn’t have one at all, Cross. You know how huge that is.” He scrubs the back of his neck, watching me closely. I know he’s wondering if I’m lying, so I let him see that I’m not. “I’m fine. I’m going to spend the night loving on Claire and watching kiddie shows. That’s not what you want to be doing tonight. You need to take Deb and introduce her to some of your brothers. You need to start living again. I want that for you. Bear would want that for you, and most importantly, your daughter would, too.”

He stares at me, letting out an annoyed breath—which mostly sounds like a bear’s chuff of frustration. I grin at him, making him shake his head.

“Ollie-girl, you’re even more stubborn than I am,” he huffs.

I giggle. “I’m learning from my second father.” Cross freezes for a second. “I love you, Cross.”

His gruff face softens. “I love you, too, Ollie-girl.” He takes me into his arms, and I go willingly, hugging him tight. “You saved my life after I lost my girl, you know,” he adds, emotion clogging his voice.

“You did the same for me after I lost Bear,” I confess. “Now, will you get Deb and take her out for a great night?”

“She’ll kick both our asses when she hears what happened yesterday and knows I didn’t tell her so she could stay with you tonight,” he warns.

“I want to stand on my own, Cross. I need to prove to myself that I can. That’s the only way I’m going to truly start living my life again and keep my promise to Bear.”

“Okay, I’ll give you tonight, but tomorrow Deb and I are at your place and I’m going to grill my girls some steaks,” he compromises.