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“You know, I always thought about how strong a soul can be to heal from so much violence,” she says. “I wasn’t strong enough. Or I was, I don’t know. But you made me feel alive when all I wanted was to die.”

But it wasn’t enough.

“I thought if I loved you hard enough, you'd stay,” I replied, looking at her. Not able to take my eyes off the future my soul longed for. “I… I knew. I knew the moment I laid my eyes on you, that you would be the most beautiful tragedy of my life and I still fell in love with you. I still love you.”

Fear climbs into my throat. What a terrible feeling it is, to be standing in a room and realizing the person you love is already halfway out the door.

I reach for her hand pulling it to my lips, kissing the very skin I was meant to never be able to feel again. “Stay.”

She looks at our hands, at the warmth sipping through the touch, then back at me and she smiles. A small, heartbreaking smile. In a second she leans in, leaving the softest scar on my lips, the most deadliest poison of all. A kiss.

Her warmth leaves me a second later. “How is everyone doing?” She asks, dangling her feet like everything is still okay.

“Milo is with Edna. He doesn’t understand,” I start without really knowing how to explain everything that happened last month. I don’t remember being there. “Your dad…your dad followed you shortly after.”

Her lips tighten at that and a small smile appears again. Mireya, you were always such a good liar. “How is Hayzel?”

“She’s always with Milo and she wants to visit the world,” I reply, trying to stretch this moment endlessly.

“And you?”

Me?

I don’t know. I don’t feel anything. The void is there but it doesn't seem to be empty. It’s strange to have a filled void inside of you. Filled with someone’s voice, someone’s laugh, someone’s memories.

“I killed Porter after that night. Ethan too, and the monster. They can never reach you again,” I say softly. “I’m with you always, and I’m not there somehow.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers before a lonely tear falls down her face.

She’s already standing when I notice how close she is to the edge and the absence of her. The wind catches her hair and throws it across her face, and for a second I forget how to breathe.

“Hey,” I say, too fast.

She doesn’t move. She looks at me with so much pain.

“Hey,” I repeat, louder now, stepping forward. “Come back.” I cross the space between us without thinking. “Don’t,” I say immediately. “Please don’t.”

Her eyes soften a little, like she’s trying not to hurt me even now that my heart has been shredded to pieces. “You always sound so scared,” she says.

“Because you keep leaving,” I answer, meaner than I mean to, but she doesn’t look away.

Instead she just studies me, as if trying to memorize something she knows she won’t be allowed to keep. “Look at me,” she says softly.

“I am looking at you.”

“No,” she says, and her voice trembles slightly. “Really look at me.”

So I do.

And it’s immediate, this feeling that something is ending even though nothing has moved yet. “None of it was your fault,” she says. “not yours, not Milo’s, not Hayzel’s, not Edna’s. None of this was your fault.”

My stomach drops. “No,” I said instantly. “No, don’t—don’t say that.”

Please don’t go. Not yet.

“Not the bad days,” she continues anyway. “Not the silence. Not the things you couldn’t fix.” She smiles, throwing her hand up trying to reach the stars. “I love you, Damien. I love you so much, but I hate myself more.”

“Stop,” I whisper. “Mireya, please stop.” My hands are shaking now. “Please.”