Page 40 of Marriage and the Midlife Crisis

“If you let me know by tomorrow, he’ll be served on Friday,” she’d promised, and I’d snorted at the irony. Friday had the potential to be one hell of a banner day. STI results and divorce papers. Woo-hoo.

Jen gave me a hug and left a few minutes later, leaving me alone with my misery, just the way I wanted it.

I had dinner delivered from the Chinese restaurant a few blocks away and managed to eat half of it before my stomach tried to stage a revolt. It clenched and heaved, and I had to practice some deep breathing exercises to keep the nausea at bay.

Mark called shortly after that, wanting to check on me as well as fill me in on his visit to Ryan.

I listened as Mark shared Ryan’s side of the story, steeling myself to hear the details.

“He seemed sincere, Mel. He definitely fucked up, but I’m not sure he actually cheated,” he offered hesitantly.

I shook my head, even though Mark couldn’t see me. “You didn’t see the guilty look on his face when I told him the thong wasn’t mine. It’s a good story, but I don’t believe it. Besides, even if he didn’t have sex with her, he broke his promise to me the minute he stepped foot in that place. The fact that he was in a place where a lap dance was even possible was a betrayal of the boundaries we have in place. Boundaries he set, if you’ll remember. He knows that strip clubs are a deal-breaker for me, and he went there anyway.”

A deep sigh came through the phone, then Mark replied, “I know, Mel. It’s just…divorce is a big step. Don’t you think you might be rushing into it, in the heat of anger? I’m not saying your anger isn’t justified,” he clarified hurriedly. “I just think you should talk to the guy yourself before making any decisions.”

“You think I owe him that much?” My voice was filled with every ounce of snark I could muster. “I think he owed me loyalty and fidelity, and to keep the promises he made, but I sure as hell didn’t get that.”

“That’s a fair point,” he conceded.

“Besides, it’s not just the cheating, or the fact that he betrayed me by going there in the first place. I don’t like the man he’s become. Ryan is nothing like the man I fell in love with anymore. He might as well be a stranger who treats our house as if it’s a bed and breakfast, and I’m the innkeeper he either doesn’t notice or bitches at, unless he’s horny of course. Then, I could be a blow-up doll for all the care he gives.”

Mark cleared his throat, and his discomfort was so obvious I had to chuckle.

“Sorry about that. I forgot I wasn’t talking to Jen for a second.”

“That’s OK. I’ll just bleach my brain later. It’ll be fine. And I understand if you’re done with him. I told him as much, right after I almost punched him.

I pulled the phone away from my ear to check the screen, to make sure I was still talking to my easy-going brother, who gets perturbed or even irritated sometimes, but never truly gets pissed off about anything.

“You what?” I asked in disbelief.

“I almost punched him. He deserved it,” he rushed to explain.

“I’m sure he did,” I murmured, then sighed. “I’ll talk to him before I go through with filing. Not that I owe him anything, but I owe it to myself, and to Garrett and Tanner, to be sure. Hell, I didn’t even buy a new coffee maker without doing the research and considering all the options. I should give at least that much thought to ending my marriage.”

Mark chuckled. “I think that’s the right choice, and if you still decide to go through with the divorce, I’ll drive you to the attorney’s office myself the next time. Then, I really will go punch that asshole for hurting you.”

“I love you,” I said softly.

“Love you, too, Melly,” he returned gruffly before hanging up, and hearing one of the nicknames from my childhood made me smile. When we were kids, I’d been Melly, Melly Belly, Melly Bean, and when he was being a pain in my butt, Smelly Melly. That last one usually resulted in him being grounded for the day, but he’d always claimed it was worth it.

My head was hurting a bit – not my usual migraine pain, just a run of the mill headache, likely from all the crying I’d done – so I decided to make it an early night. I had just taken some Tylenol and slipped into bed when my phone rang again. Seeing Garrett’s name on the screen, I hesitated for a second, then took a deep breath and answered as cheerfully as I could without arousing suspicion.

“Hi, Gare Bear! What’s up?”

“Mom, Tanner’s with me. You’re on speakerphone.” Garrett’s voice was quiet, and he sounded upset.

I could hear road noise in the background and asked if they were driving.

“Yeah, we’re…uh….” Garrett stopped talking, and Tanner chimed in. “We’re headed home to find out what the hell is going on.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Cody called us about twenty minutes ago, really freaked out. He…uh,” Tanner paused, then Garrett finished, “He told us that Dad fu – screwed up and you left him. He heard Uncle Mark and Aunt Jen talking about you going to meet with a lawyer today.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I dropped my head back on the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut, praying to the universe that I could get through this conversation without inflicting lifelong trauma on any of us.