Page 60 of Marriage and the Midlife Crisis

I was still irritated by that woman and her ridiculous whims when I arrived at Kim’s office building. I tried to shake off my bad mood, and it helped when I saw my wife walking through the door, brushing a few stray snowflakes out of her dark hair. It had started snowing on my drive over, although we weren’t supposed to get much accumulation.

She greeted me with a small smile, and I thanked her for coming.

We were told that Kim was ready for us, so we headed back to her office and took the same seats on the couch as before.

Kim pushed the button on the wall to close the door behind us, then wheeled herself into position across from us. She started by asking how we were doing after such an emotional day on Friday.

“I’m better, after having the weekend to think. Our sons came to visit, which was nice. I also had a long talk with my friend, Jen, and that helped me work through some things.”

I told her that the boys had met me for dinner. “I’m sure I have Melanie to thank for that,” I said, and she ducked her head slightly. “It was awkward at first, but we talked, and I think I made at least a little progress with them.”

“I’m glad to hear that you both had productive weekends, so let’s see if we can keep that going. Now, the first thing I want you to understand is that grief encompasses a wide range of emotions. It often manifests in anger, confusion, guilt, depression, and so many other things in addition to the sadness you feel from losing someone. My job with this type of therapy is to help you navigate that emotional minefield. We will sort through and identify your emotions so that we can find positive ways to process them, and then true healing can begin. Our discussions may be difficult, or even painful as we revisit those times in your life, but please know that this is a safe space to let go of those emotions.”

Kim’s tone was filled with gentle compassion as she asked, “Can you tell me about the losses you’ve had? I understand that both your father and your best friend died within a short time period two years ago?”

“Yes,” I answered, trying to quell my sudden nervousness. “My dad had a heart attack two years and three months ago, and he didn’t make it. Then two months after that, Grady was in a five car pile-up on the interstate. He was killed on impact.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Ryan. I can’t even imagine how difficult that was for you – and for Melanie and your sons. Had you and Grady been friends for a long time?”

“Since we were twelve. We met in the seventh grade,” I answered gruffly.

“You stayed close all those years?”

I nodded, and a smile twisted my lips. “Yes. We shared an apartment in college and for a year or so after that. He helped me with Garrett after I divorced my first wife. He was my best man when Melanie and I got married, and was an honorary uncle to both of our sons,” I stopped and tried to swallow around the tightness in my throat, and Melanie stepped in.

“Grady was over at our house at least once a week for dinner, or to help Ryan with something around the house, or just to play catch in the backyard with the boys. We all loved him,” she finished softly.

“And was Mitch part of this group?”

My jaw tightened at the mention of that asshole. “Yes. Grady and I met him in high school. He shared the apartment with us in college, then moved away after graduation. He came back several times a year to visit, and then he moved back for good about six months after Grady’s accident.”

Kim nodded, then asked about my dad.

Damn, this was even harder than I realized. I looked at Melanie, and she reached over and gave my hand a squeeze. I clung to her hand like a lifeline for a second, then reluctantly let go. It was the first time she’d voluntarily touched me in days.

“My dad was the best. My mom had some serious health issues and then died when I was eighteen. Dad really had to step up for me and my younger brother. We were all a mess, but Dad pulled us through, and he was there for me again when I found out Garrett was on the way, and again when Holly and I split up and I became a single father. He adored Melanie and doted on Tanner the same way he did Garrett.”

“So, your mother has passed as well? I believe Melanie mentioned that Garrett’s biological mother died when he was quite young, too?

“Yes,” I said huskily. “I divorced Holly shortly after Garrett’s first birthday. We got married because she was pregnant, and it was a mistake from the beginning. I was awarded sole custody during the divorce because Holly was struggling with being a mother. She just never really connected with our son and didn’t like being tied down, as she put it. She didn’t see Garrett often after that and was hit by a car while crossing a busy street downtown, just before Garrett turned three.”

“That had to be tough, for both you and your son,” Kim said.

“I had sole custody of Garrett, and Holly only saw him a dozen or so times in two years, so honestly, while it was shocking and sad that she died so senselessly, her passing didn’t really affect our daily lives.”

I inclined my head toward Mel and smiled.

“Then, I met Melanie and she stepped in and loved Garrett as a mother should, and outside of some curiosity about what she was like, Garrett’s never seemed to miss having his birth mother in his life.”

Melanie surreptitiously wiped a tear from her eye as Kim asked about my mother.

I exhaled harshly. I didn’t talk about my mom much and doing it now felt as if I were ripping a bandage off a raw, open wound.

“Mom had gallbladder surgery when I was fifteen. My brother Derek was only ten. It was just a routine procedure, but there were complications, and a blood clot broke off and went to her brain the day she was supposed to come home from the hospital.”

I stopped talking for a moment, lost in the memory of that day. Mel reached over and took my hand, threading her fingers through mine. I jerked my head up and looked at her in surprise, and she gave me a tremulous smile.

“The, uh, hospital called just a few minutes after Dad left to go pick her up. The nurse assumed I was him when I answered the phone. My voice had already changed and was pretty deep by that point, I guess. She said Janice had suffered a stroke, and I needed to get there right away. I called my dad on his cell phone and told him. He called me back two hours later to let me know that Mom was hanging in there and told me to feed Derek dinner because he was going to stay at the hospital for a while.”