Page 52 of Catching Sparkles

KENDALL

I WAS BARELY able to yank my jeans up to cover my ass and clamber back onto the couch before Benji unlocked my door and pushed it open. Trying my best to configure my expression into one of someone who was incredibly upset, and not like I’d just received a ridiculously enthusiastic blowjob from the hottest guy on the planet, I let out a pitiful little groan.

“Sorry,” I said quietly. “I was getting up to let you in.”

“No worries,” he assured me, and the look on both their faces was one of obvious concern. “We brought your dishes back,” he added as he lugged the stack of my pans over to the kitchen and carefully set them in the sink.

“Thanks.”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m kind of shaken up,” I answered, quickly scooting over to the end of the couch when Josie started making her way forward to sit with me. I hadn’t exactly had a chance to inspect it to see if Rhys had left a wet spot there, and I wanted to make sure that area was covered. Just in case.

I couldn’t believe Rhys fucking Kensington had actually blown his load in his pants just from having my cock in his mouth. It was beyond anything I could have reasonably hoped for, even in my perviest fantasies about him. And I couldn’t even really bask in it because we were, as always, being interrupted. I was just glad his boxers were thick and his shorts were black, so there probably wouldn’t be a visible wet spot there when he came out.

It wasn’t just about the sex, though I’d wanted to reward him and worship him with my tongue, showing him how much I loved it when he couldn’t control himself and that he never needed to be embarrassed about it. It was also because we’d only just kind of made up from the stupid argument we’d had. We’d apologized to each other, but there was more I needed to say. I was sure there was more he needed to say, too.

Not that I could be annoyed with Benji and Josie, I knew they were just worried about me. But was it so much to ask that I could have an hour alone with the guy I’d been in love with since freaking middle school? Who knew hooking up with your best friend’s brother behind his back would be so complicated and difficult?

“Sorry, Keke,” she said as she plopped down next to me, rubbing a hand in soothing circles over my back. “We didn’t even see what was going on until it was too late.”

“Hey, do you know when Rhys left?” Benji piped up, taking a seat in the armchair across from us. “We didn’t see him on our way over.”

“He’s still here,” I admitted, hoping I looked sheepish and not totally guilty. “I was just really upset and I didn’t want to be alone, so I asked him to stay. He’s in the bathroom,” I tacked on, when Benji looked confused.

Sort of the truth. Mostly.

“Oh, alright,” he said, and even after analyzing his expression as subtly as I could, he didn’t seem to suspect anything. Dropping his voice lower, like he didn’t want Rhys to hear him from the bathroom, he went on. “Did it actually help, him hanging around?”

I didn’t need to decode the meaning of his words. I knew they loved each other, and things were probably better now that we were all adults, but I hadn’t forgotten how frustrated he would get with Rhys back when we were kids. While I’d been swooning over him with hearts in my eyes, Benji had been scoffing and complaining about all the shallow, judgmental jocks he’d chosen to hang out with. I had a feeling Benji couldn’t imagine someone like Rhys providing me with any kind of meaningful emotional support or comfort.

“Yeah,” I said honestly. “I think because of… things not working out with his wife, he kind of understands where I’m coming from about the issues with my parents. He’s been great.”

I hoped I wasn’t giving myself away, but if either of them noticed, they didn’t comment on it.

When Rhys hesitantly creaked open my bathroom door and joined us a handful of minutes later, the two of them had already recounted the story of what had happened between my dad and Mr. Kensington, and how their argument had escalated to a point where my parents had been asked to leave.

How incredibly fucking embarrassing. I’d always cringed in shame at my dad’s temperament, how he’d get in public shouting matches with other people in town. I’d expected people to think I was trash too, since half my genetics had come from him, but truthfully everyone just seemed to feel sorry for me.

“Well, are you feeling better now?” Josie asked gently, after we’d spent a little longer talking about it. “I’m sure you probably want us to head out so you can get some rest.”

It was true, I desperately needed sleep. And now that anxiety and guilt about Rhys wasn’t eating me alive, I’d actually be able to get some. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to being by myself, just me and my thoughts, but I knew they had lives they had to get back to. And it wasn’t like I could tell them to just leave Rhys here for a slumber party. Like that wouldn’t have looked suspicious.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’ll text you tomorrow,” I promised, standing up to hug her, and then Benji, before leading them toward the door as we said our goodbyes.

Rhys eyed me cautiously as he followed, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. He didn’t want to leave me either. Why did everyone and everything in our lives seem determined to wrench us apart?

“Thanks for today,” I said, giving him a friendly little wave. He cleared his throat a little, giving me a small nod in return.

“Yeah. Sure. No problem.”

And then they were gone, and I was all alone in my pink, frilly apartment. The sanctuary I’d curated so carefully, craving the queer joy and colorful vibes I’d never been allowed to explore in my childhood. I never wanted to live in a place where I’d have to hide any part of myself ever again. And I’d done it. I’d built a sweet little life with a job I didn’t hate and people around me that loved me and supported me. I was safe and happy.

If my apartment felt lonely for the first time ever since I’d moved in, it was only because the ghost of my time with Rhys was lingering around, taunting me with the intangible concept of what could happen between us if everyone could just leave us the fuck alone.

Sighing deeply as I scrubbed my hands over my face, I internally chided myself for having such a mean, ungrateful thought. I was lucky that I didn’t have much time alone. I was lucky to have friends and family who were involved in my life and wanted to check in on me. It was my own fault that I’d been hypnotically obsessed with the same guy for more than half of my entire life. And it wasn’t anyone’s fault that he happened to be someone I couldn’t openly be with.

Like anything would ever be so easy for me.