Page 54 of Death Kiss

‘It’s the only one I have.’

Her eye roll is severely over the top, but she doesn’t push. Which only compounds the guilt. I’m letting them all down with this crazy revenge scheme, and for what? To wrong some long-past hurts?

Doubts creep in, and I try to shake them off. Kat needs me to be strong. To help her.

Ellie pulls up beside the alley, moving to open her door until I grab her hand. Her brows lift in surprise as she turns to face me.

‘You know I love you, right?’ I’m not sure I’ve ever told her. I’m worried I might not get the chance if the world keeps tightening the tourniquet that chokes us.

Ellie’s eyes turn glassy, the deep brown gleaming in the Saturday evening sun. ‘I love you too.’

There are a few seconds of silence before she pulls me into a hug that makes me wince.

‘Just stop being such a massive bloody idiot, okay? And phone Mum.’

‘I will. On both counts. Soon.’

Getting out winds me, and I take a moment to lean on the car as the world spins.

‘And be fucking careful with whatever this is,’ she shouts as I close the door.

I lift a hand in a half-hearted wave as she drives off.

There’s only one thought that drives me on.

Kat.

The door’s locked, and it takes me a minute to locate my key in the folder of shit the nurse gave me with my belongings.

‘Kat?’ I call as I walk in.

Silence greets me. I know Reggie is with Sandra, but where’s Kat?

The room is neat and empty, so I make my way slowly to the bedroom. Her desk is neat and tidy, but two new additions sit on it. Additions that would look innocent enough to those who don’t know what we’re doing. A map of the nearby countryside, with a small black heart stone covering a portion. Lifting it carefully, I scan the words beneath. Upper Stelling. The heart sat on the area where a small river meets a bridge, and I pulled it up on my map using a VPN and an anonymous browser. There’s a cottage right there.

That’s where my girl is.

I feel it.

The other addition is a manila envelope with two hearts drawn on the front. Hearts that look just like the ones on my mask. My fingers shake as I open it. Inside… another envelope. My brow creases as I take it out. This one had writing on the front. My girl’s handwriting. Even seeing that breaks my heart. The thought of her sitting here alone and figuring it all out without me, because I’d been a monumental twatbag and shut down.

There are photos here that I don’t know if you’ll want to see. They are of you as a kid. With your dad. With them. I’m so sorry, Liam. They’re bad, and I didn’t want to leave them in the house as evidence. I don’t want your pictures to end up on file somewhere. I wanted to destroy them, but it’s not my place.

I love you.

I forgive you.

I hope you can forgive me too.

But Hugh needs to die. Tonight. There are bodies, Liam.

Small ones.

My hands are shaking when I finish reading. I remember the flashes. Thinking of Kat seeing those images makes me want to smash through the wall. It’s bad enough they put me through it, but now they have put those memories into her head in a visual way, too.

It takes a few minutes for me to breathe steadily enough to think straight. I bend as the world shifts again, pulling the box from under our bed. I toss the envelope in as I pull my mask out. Kat’s pink one is gone. And so are her knives and half of our sedative syringes.

She’s gone. My chest burns as I wrap my head around it. How long ago did she leave? What if I’m too late?