Page 18 of The Titan and the Trainer

“Absolutely, that’ll do nicely.” Callum checked his watch. It was already 7:15 p.m. and he was working tonight at The Vault. “I am working tonight, so I can’t be too late”

“Ah yes, the club…” Julian said, but then said no more.

They took the lift down and out into the street. Dusk had settled and the evening had cooled off since Callum’s brief lunch with Sophia. For some reason Callum felt self-conscious walking with Julian, out in public. Julian was slightly taller than him, and he playfully shoulder-bumped Callum as they talked and walked. He seemed relaxed.

It wasn’t more than five minutes before they were seated in a quiet corner of the Mexican restaurant. Callum had to laugh when the server suggested a red sombrero for Julian.

“Come on, Julian, it’ll look great,” Callum teased him.

“Err, no, definitely not thanks,” Julian replied.

They ordered Margaritas while they checked out the menu.

Small talk came surprisingly easy, which was a huge relief for Callum. Having always felt on guard around Julian and the Titan persona, it was nice that they could just be normal with one another. They chatted about the area, the regeneration work going on, and other diners in the restaurant. The server came with their drinks and took their food order.

“Cheers to us, and a Saturday to remember,” Julian proposed, clinking glasses. Callum couldn’t help but smile and sit back in his seat, as if taking things in.

“What?” said Julian, quizzically.

“Oh, I don’t know. Just the normality of this moment, right here, right now”, he paused. “It’s so surprising to me, but refreshing, honest, and adorable. Being here with you is so amazing; I was not sure we were ever going to get here to share a moment like this.”

Julian looked thoughtful for a moment, then said with sincerity, "I thought I’d imagined the way you looked at me. Your brown eyes, your smile, just your interest in me, it was all too much to hope for. When I saw you in the lobby with the harness, I fell to pieces... I went home, and I just couldn't even sit still. I felt like a stupid teenager or something."

Callum chuckled, “Yes, a teenager with a corner office and private suite on Broadway. It was a hell of a look, Julian. But honestly? I was jealous of you. I spent the whole subway ride back to Brooklyn thinking about you and the life you must live.” He paused, then continued… “I imagined you going home to this perfectly silent, perfectly clean palace where you never have to worry about the rent or the radiator clanking or the roof leaking. I thought, 'that man has the whole world in his pocket, and I’m just a small guy he pays to watch him sweat.' Why would he be remotely interested in little old me?”

Julian let out a long, weary sigh. “Oh, rest assured, I’m very interested in little old you, despite the fact there’s nothing little about you,” he said with a smile. “The whole world in my pocket? Cal, most nights I go home to that palace as you describe it, and it feels more like a bloody mausoleum. It’s lifeless. Yes, I have Martha, my housekeeper, who’s wonderful, but she’s paid to be there, same with my drivers, Markus and the security team, my assistants, but everyone in my life is just really on the payroll. Many of them have been with me for years, and yes, I think of them as family. They are loyal, and I value that above anything else, but I looked at you, and I just saw... freedom.”

“Freedom,” Callum asked, sipping his drink. “How so?”

“I saw a guy who can walk into a restaurant, a club, some fancy office, and just be exactly who he really is. I imagined your life being full of people who actually know you.”

Ah, the Titan persona, Callum thought to himself, but not confident yet to say that to Julian.

“How much better it is to be real, Callum, and not some conjured-up Julian, the result of a P.R. company’s brainstorm or mood board. Not some perfectly managed image, just a man… just the man I am…” His voice trailed off, as if this admission was hard to make.

Callum looked at him, sensing that sharing insecurity or frustration - he wasn’t sure which, was still hard for Julian to do. Again, used to the cage of his own creation.

“My life is messy, Julian. It’s loud, and I’m always hustling, and sometimes I feel like I’m just a piece of meat on a podium or a gym floor. Yes, I have freedom, but I’ve also been looking for something that feels like real life. Something that feels normal and authentic, something that feels like… dare he say it? Yes, he dared… “this”.

Julian’s smile was the only response Callum needed. He reached for his hand across the table, and Julian didn’t even flinch, just accepted it. They held hands, the contact bridging the gap between them. He was relaxing into this already, Callum observed. The walls really are down tonight.

“I was terrified,” Julian admitted, his voice dropping to a vulnerable grit. “I was terrified that if I touched you, the mask would break and I wouldn't be able to put it back on. I have a board of directors who think I’m this unbreakable Titan of industry. I have a public image that is built on being powerful. I thought if I let you in, if I let anyone in, I’d lose my Infinity Gauntlet and the power that goes with it.”

Callum laughed out loud, “You know Marvel films? I’m seriously impressed?”

Julian feigned indignation, “Hell yes I know Marvel films. I’m a huge superhero fan, and I love films. I watch films all the time when I’m not working; it’s my ‘de-stress’, but to be frank, it’s not much fun when it’s just me. I have a great life, yes,, but it’s been a lonely one for various reasons.”

Callum reached out, not able to help himself, his thumb tracing Julian’s lower lip. “And now?”

“Fuck lonely, I’m over it. Now I don't care about the empire,” Julian said, his eyes darkening with a new, steady intensity. “I just care about you and when I can see you again.” He sat back as if pondering. “But a word of caution, Cal. If this is what you want, and I know it’s early days - in fact, hours. If we do this, people will talk. There’ll be a lot to deal with. The press, the media. Your life could change, and I’m not sure that’s something I want you to endure. You need to think very carefully about things as we…” Julian didn’t know the right words and left the sentence dangling, but gestured with his hands as if showing future time progressing…

Callum helped him out with the word: “Date?”

He said it, but with a degree of uncertainty, hoping with all his heart this was what Julian was trying to express.

Julian laughed, again the real deep belly laugh. “Yes, date. I feel like a teenager again”. His face was a picture, his smile beaming.

“Let them talk,” Callum said softly. “I’ve spent my life being out and proud, Julian. I’m not going back into a closet for anyone. But I am willing to be patient to a degree. I can be your secret for a little while, as long as I know I’m your only one.”