Page 80 of Tempting My Mafia Monster

“Highly unlikely, but he could be the nicest man on the planet, and it wouldn’t make a difference. I will never love him.”

“You don’t know that. Many arranged marriages have worked out in the end.”

I picked at my nails as my anxiety grew. I turned to face her on the bench. “Can I tell you something?”

“Always.”

“I’m already in love with another man. He was a captive, like me.”

Her eyes widened. “You were both McKenna’s prisoners?”

“Kind of. It’s a bit more complicated than that. We lived in a bunker together for six weeks.”

Her pupils dilated even more. “Did you…”

“I gave him my virginity, Lili. I wanted to. And I… fell in love with him.”

“Oddio!” She ran her hand through her messy hair, catching a piece of straw and pulling it out. “Who is he?”

I peered up at her nervously from beneath my lashes. A lump formed in my throat. “His name was Maddox, but Sean called him Monster.”

“Wait…” Her hand slammed over her mouth. “Not the man that Sani fought.”

I nodded. Tears brimmed in my eyes as the realisation hit her. “Oh, Raya.” She grabbed me and pulled me into another hug. “I’m so sorry.”

“That’s why I’ve been such a mess. I’m heartbroken, Lili. I can’t explain the connection we shared. I feel like I can’t breathe without him. I sound so fucking dramatic.”

“No. You don’t.”

I raised my eyebrows at her.

“Okay. Just a little. But it’s allowed.”

“I think telling you all one at a time is the best way.”

“Who else have you told?”

“Mamma. Though she won’t remember it.”

Lili gave me a sad smile. “I think it’s a good strategy. Working your way up to the men.”

“Exactly.”

Lili bit her bottom lip, concern appearing on her face. “I don’t know how Sani is going to take this.”

“I know. That’s why he’s last on my list.”

“Do you… hate him now? You two have always been more than siblings. You’re best friends.”

“I could never hate him,” I admitted. “But I can’t look at him. It’s hard to be around him. I know why he did it. I do. But… Maddox was going to kill Sean. No one hates Sean as much as Maddox does. Did.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wiped my nose on my joggers. “That man stole him from his family when he was twelve and killed his parents. He tortured him, beat him, drugged him, and manipulated him for most of his life. If Sani had just thought rationally for one second, he’d have seen what was really happening.”

“Sani means well. You have no idea how much losing you affected him, Raya. I’ve never seen him so unhinged and volatile. He was losing his mind with worry. He just wanted to find you and bring you home. Nothing was going to stop him.”

“I know that too,” I sighed. “Which is why I can’t hate him.”

“What was he like?” she asked softly. “Maddox?”

A small smile tugged at my lips as fresh tears welled. “You’d have been terrified of him.”