Page 121 of Blissful Devotion

“Why do you like shibari?” I ask to distract myself from how turned on I am and the fact that he’s right here, just out of reach.

His fingers pause for a moment before he peeks over my shoulder at me as if he’s never seen me before.

“What?”

The confusion on his face only makes him more adorable, and I can’t help but smile at him.

“Why do you like shibari?” I repeat, unsure if he didn’t hear me or…

I thought it was a pretty simple question; I was just looking to get him talking, so I had a distraction.

“Hmm…” His confused look doesn’t go away as he moves back behind me, and I feel his hands once again going back to work. “Nobody’s ever asked me that before.”

That doesn’t surprise me; this doesn’t seem like something most would talk about, let alone ask why.

“I guess it probably started when I was a kid. My dad put me in Boy Scouts to try and help me socialize. Des got us kicked out after a few weeks when he tried to light another kid's tent on fire for picking on me.” The smile on his face is fond, and while it sounds terrible, I can picture it. A little Des, upset that someone was mean to Oli.

“It sounds cute now. Just remember one of these days we’re going to have a mini him,” he says with a laugh, and it makes butterflies dance in my stomach.

We’re, not you, not you guys.

“Only if he wins,” I say with a shrug, and this time his laughter is loud, washing over me and heating me up for completely inappropriate reasons.

“If you think he will stop until he has a little one, you don’t know Desmond very well, love.”

I laugh too because he’s right.

“Well, he got us kicked out, but I was there long enough to figure out I like knots and whittling.”

Huh, I didn’t know that.

Whittling seems like such an old skill, but somehow it still fits him.

“I didn’t have much to do with knots, but years later, after I was already grown, we went to a friend of my father’s birthday, and he had women everywhere. It wasn’t a shock, he was known for sleeping around, had a few kids, never even considered a wife, but it was how he had them that caught my attention.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s talking about, but I love hearing him open up.

“They were everywhere, even hanging from the ceiling, and I don’t know, I felt a pull to them. It was beautiful the way the ropes sat against their skin, the colors, the different knots.”

His fingers brush over the rope on my arm, and goosebumps erupt in their wake.

“That night when I got home, I spent—hell, I don’t even know how many hours on the computer looking it up. I…” His hand goes still, and I peek back at him over my shoulder to find his ears adorably red, his eyes far away. “I’d never come so hard as I did looking at women like that. It wasn’t even porn, and they were mostly clothed, at least most of the way.”

His hands start on the rope near my shoulder blade again, but I can’t make myself look away, taken by him and his passion.

“There’s so much trust in it, giving someone so much control and having that kind of control.” He groans, and I get that.

“Seems like that’s a common kink with the Lawson men,” I tease, and his gaze flicks up to meet mine, a smile on his lips.

“I never wanted to be anything like my father, but I can’t say I hate sharing some things with him now.” He waggles his brows at me and looks ridiculous. I roll my eyes, turning back to look straight before I get a kink in my neck.

“I never had anyone like that, though. Even when Des brought Natasha around, I never felt what they did. He insisted, though, and I know he thought I was trying to ruin it, looking for a way to sabotage what they all had,” he sighs, and my heart breaks for him, knowing he put himself out there like that for Desmond.

Even worse, I know what happened and why he was so reserved when I came around.

I can’t blame him.

“She didn’t deserve you.” My voice is cold, and it might not be my place, but I can’t make myself take it back.