Page 17 of Blissful Devotion

God.

Just the thought makes my breathing labored as I try to fend off the panic.

“Des is locked in her room. I’m not sure what he’s doing. Hopefully, they'll sleep until they get here, but I can’t be sure. I heard him crying earlier.”

Ouch.

Neither of those boys are mine, but I’ve been here since they were little, and watching all of them suffer like this—even Alex, who mostly just tolerates me—well, it’s a hit to my emotions I didn’t need.

I much prefer being an emotionless bastard, the way most people assume I am; it’s easier.

“And Alex?” I ask, even though I know he might be taking it the hardest.

I’d seen the way he was slamming drinks; he hadn’t drunk that badly in a while, and the more I watched him drink, the more I was taken back to then.

I don’t dare bring it up, not even with just Nathan and me here. It was terrible for Alex to go through, but it was a different kind of pain for Nathan to be powerless and lost, unable to help Alex. It’s been years, so many fucking years now, but what if...

Jade’s question has been eating at me since we left Italy.

Do you have any enemies?

Well, those beyond the people who wish to steal our money for riches' sake.

I’m compelled to say no. We give back, take care of our company and all of our workers, and while we did fire that bitch at the desk a few months back, this doesn’t feel like that kind of thing.

No, this feels deep, personal… old.

Bad blood that’s festered—that's the kind of thing that leads people to purposefully drive into a car that holds only a woman and child with their driver, with the intention to abduct someone.

Hell, they would have taken Addy, it would seem, based on what she recalls. The only reason they didn’t was that Kat put herself between them.

What a very Kat thing to do.

I throw back another shot, and my stomach turns. I haven’t eaten enough to be drinking this much today. Though no amount of eating could prepare me for this.

I passed my limit about two hours ago, around breakfast time, yet I can’t stop.

I don't deserve Kat; I knew that from the moment I laid eyes on her.

She’s so good, pure, and amazing.

And despite my best efforts to deny it, to will it into not being true…some part of me knows it’s him.

“Alex,” I startle at the sound of Nathan’s voice. I hadn’t heard him come up the stairs.

The world blurs as I look up at my brother, and this time it has nothing to do with the alcohol.

“It’s Lorenzo, isn’t it?” His name tastes bitter on my lips, and I worry for a moment I might throw up, but I choke it down, barely.

I need to know.

This is my fault, isn’t it?

“I don’t know anything for sure.” He attempts to reassure me, but I hear what he’s not saying.

He can’t know for sure, but he thinks so too.

I swallow down the stomach acid that burns my throat as I try to do the same to my raging emotions.