Page 32 of Blissful Devotion

“Seven AM, boys.” And then they're gone, leaving us with our own little dysfunctional group that seems to be hanging by a thread.

Seven AM can’t come fast enough, but something tells me this is still going to be a long night.

We should all get some sleep. Lord knows we need it, especially if we're going to be of any assistance with planning or whatever else they need us for. That’s why I listened and didn’t fight her—well, that and she kind of scares me.

Oliver was helping Alex get to bed, and Father disappeared the second Alex brought up the fact that Kat’s pregnant. I doubt that’s a coincidence, but I also don’t have the mental capacity to really worry about him right now.

Not when I can’t even close my eyes for more than two seconds without envisioning all of my worst nightmares.

Vince didn’t seem like he was going to listen, but I was pretty sure I heard him head to bed not too long after I laid down. I hadn’t thought twice about it, but standing here in Kat’s doorway, I see I was wrong.

Vince didn’t go to his room, but he did go to a room, and he isn’t in bed; instead, he sits in the chair in the corner of Kat’s room.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks as if there's another reason for us to be here. I shake my head and make my way into the room and straight toward her bed.

I’ve come here a few times now.

Every time her scent is less, and I fear soon it will be gone altogether. Even so, I can’t bring myself to stay away.

I need something to get me through until I can hold her in my arms again.

I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone like this, but every day it hurts more, as if the hole in my chest where my heart used to be is slowly getting bigger.

“What if they can’t find her?” My voice doesn’t even sound like my own as I breathe the question, afraid that speaking it aloud will make it real, but needing to talk about it.

I’ve been driving myself crazy thinking about—

I’m pulled from my spiraling thoughts as Vince appears before me, gripping my shirt and yanking me up off the floor, his face cold and angry.

“Don’t fucking talk like that!” he seethes, and despite his anger, I don’t rise to meet it the way I might have once.

Kat wouldn’t want that, and as good as it might feel to fight with him, it won’t help us get her back. If anything, it will make me more useless than I already am when he beats my ass.

No, the last thing we need is to turn on each other.

“I can’t live without her…”

He releases me as if I burned him, stepping back with a huff, and I get the feeling he was hoping for a fight.

We’re not that different in that sense.

“You're not going to.”

And then he’s gone, and I’m alone again...

“And an heir. How convenient…"

Lorenzo’s words ring in my head even after we’ve finished dinner and I’m locked in my room again.

Well, he finished dinner; I’d faked a few bites, the silence so heavy that I felt like I was choking on it. There was no way I could have eaten without being sick, and while I’m pretty sure that’s still true, that doesn’t stop my stomach from grumbling in protest at how empty it is.

The only thing I’m thankful for is that Lorenzo got a call that pulled him away not long after our little chat. The girl who’d shown me to him earlier appeared out of nowhere and escorted me back to my room, but it was mostly a blur.

“And an heir. How convenient…” The words play on a loop, haunting me.

I drop down beside the toilet as my stomach rolls again, but no matter how sick I feel, there’s nothing left to puke up. I’d long since lost my breakfast.

I don’t know how long I’ve been here, hanging on the toilet, but it was long enough that I’ve run out of tears as I hiccup and heave for air.