Page 74 of Blissful Devotion

It was just as well, though, because she’s adorable and none of us could keep the smile off our lips seeing her like that.

I don’t have any experience with pregnant women, but something tells me laughing at them when they cry is a bad idea.

“I can feel your eyes.”

I nearly toss the book on my lap into the fire as I jump out of my skin at the sound of her voice.

“Shit!” I press a hand to my chest as she slowly blinks her eyes open, a smile pulling at her lips. “I was just… you… fuck!”

I have no idea what I’m trying to say, but I know I’m failing.

Her smile grows wider as she pushes up off the floor to sit up, and suddenly we're much closer, so close that I can smell her cherry shampoo.

“Hi.” Her eyes sparkle, so damn beautiful that I swear she’s hard to look at sometimes.

“Hi,” I manage to choke out, holding her gaze as she moves impossibly closer.

“I was just messing with you,” she tells me, one of her hands absently rubbing over her stomach, and I feel an ache in my chest.

That can’t be my baby, because I was a dumbass. I’ll love him no matter what, just like the rest of them will, but...

I wish it were, or that there were even a chance.

She yawns and stretches, turning to see the fire that still warms the room. Her smile softens as she relaxes before she turns back to me, and I can’t stop the smile tugging at my own lips.

I watch as she moves to lie back down, but instead of returning to her nest, she pulls a single blanket loosely over herself and rests her head on my lap, her eyes falling closed almost immediately.

I can’t breathe; I don’t dare move for a moment as I try to understand what just happened and make my lungs work.

“Is this okay?” she asks, eyes still closed, looking more comfortable than should probably be possible.

“What? No. Wait, I mean yes, this is okay. Wonderful even.” I snap my mouth shut and drop my head back against the chair I’d occupied earlier.

Maybe I’ll knock some sense into myself.

She chuckles, and I feel her laughter as much as I hear it, the beautiful sound that breathes life back into me.

I set the book down on the floor beside me and relax back against the chair, simply allowing myself a moment to enjoy this, her, us.

My mind goes wild, thinking of all the ways this could go bad, that we could fuck it up, but as her breathing evens out, I find I don’t care.

There’s so much happiness to be had, so much love and life.

I look down at the woman who has given our lives meaning again and gently run my fingers through her beautiful orange hair that I hope every one of our children has and can’t fight the smile that pulls at my lips when she gives an adorable little mewl.

I might not have known it, didn’t dare admit it, but I’m just as gone for her as the rest of them. Have been since that day in the zoo when she saw me the way nobody else ever has, even in a sea of people.

“Everything’s okay now that you're here,” I tell her, even though I’m almost positive she’s asleep. That’s okay, though I’m not going anywhere, and neither is she.

March

Islept maybe four hours, off and on, before I couldn’t handle lying around anymore. My mind reeled, supplying me with every worst-case scenario possible for what could happen while we were gone.

As if I hadn’t already lived close to that for the last few months.

As if I hadn’t been the one to blame, again.

“She’s fine.” Nathan sounds unreasonably calm as he makes his way through the cabin to sit beside me on the couch.