Page 35 of The Rancher’s One and Only

“There’s no reason for our paths to cross. But that sort of… I don’t know. It was confusing.”

“Some people get off on power. On cruelty. Sounds like he’s one of those people.”

She nodded, and that did something to soothe her. “Do you think I did something to make it happen?”

“No,” he said. “Honestly. No. Ernestine… You can’t make somebody treat you that way. Would Haley deserve to have somebody treat her that way? Even if she has a reputation for being someone who sometimes gives out sexual favors.”

Ernestine frowned. “No. She wouldn’t deserve it.”

“No. Because only telling a man you want to have sex with him should make him think you want to have sex with them.”

I want you to teach me about sex.

Oh dear. She did her best not to reflect too much on that. She did her best not to think about any of it at all.

She decided to do her best to suppress that. But it was hard. He was so…present. So vibrant. Vibrant. That was a funny word. Funny word to use in context with a man, and yet it kind of suited him. Particularly that tattoo that he had. It was bright and vibrant. A phoenix, she was pretty sure. It really should be a dragon.

“You should get a dragon tattoo,” she said.

“Why?” he asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Oh. I…” She scrunched her face. She had done it. She was opening up the door to let him know that she had been a little bit weird last night and watched that video of him.

“Well, I think that it would suit you. Also, I watched a video of your fight last night.” She bit the inside of her cheek. She had meant to say she had watched one video of a fight. She had botched that, and she just hoped that he didn’t ask for clarification. She didn’t want to tell him she had gone down an entire rabbit hole of many of his fights.

“You did?”

“Yes. You’re very interesting. I saw your tattoo. Is it a phoenix?”

“Yes. It’s a phoenix. Kind of a stupid, very literal tattoo. The kind that you get when you’re in your early twenties. I saw myself as somebody who rose from the ashes.”

“You are. I mean, it does suit you. But you also are a little bit dragonish. Like maybe you make some of those ashes.”

“Do you think so?”

“I do. And I think it would be a good balance to have it on the other side. That’s just my suggestion.”

“I’ll take that under advisement. You thought about it quite a bit.”

“To be fair, I tend to overthink everything when I get a little bit interested.”

“Interested?”

She felt her face get hot. “You are interesting. I did say that you’re actually pretty original.”

“Thanks,” he said.

“You’re welcome.”

“So what did you think of the fight?”

She took a breath. “Well, I thought it was impressive. But very surprisingly violent. Hearing the way you talked about martial arts I guess…”

“Make no mistake. When I’m fighting, that’s what I’m supposed to be doing, and I’m brutal. But it was really important to me to control that. To always have dominion over how brutal I was going to be. I never wanted to be like my dad. He doesn’t have any control. He uses violence against vulnerable people. I never wanted to be that. It’s one thing to step into a ring with somebody, and to know that there’s going to be violence. It’s one thing to do it on purpose. With intent. That’s not something he did. He was a giant baby who didn’t have any control over himself. Hell, he probably still is. But I don’t have to have any association with him.”

His expression was distant then, and she wanted to press, but felt like circling back to his tattoo was a safer way to engage with a painful subject. Like stepping near it instead of stepping right on it.

“See, that’s part of why I think a dragon would be a good symbol for you too. Because any dragon living in the world is controlling their chaos. Their power. They could burn the whole world to the ground, but they don’t. Because they also don’t have to. That’s you. You could light everything on fire, but you don’t. Because you don’t have to.”