Page 65 of The Honor Society

“And?”

“It was horrible. But you also gave Jude the choice and when he didn’t make it,” my voice cracks. “You, Axel, Proctor, carried it for him. You carried it so he wouldn’t have to. You let him make his choice without forcing him the way anyone else would have.”

“No. No.” The knife shakes in his hand. “You have no idea who I am. What I am.”

“Then feed me.” I lay back on the couch.

He rears back. “What?”

“You told me Famine has to feed. So this is your chance to give me what I need. I’m telling you in plain language what I need. No voice modulator, no mask, just your truth. Feed me your full truths, however terrifying, all of them, until I’m full and you’re starved.” Please. Please. Don’t do whatever everyone else has done, given me half-truths to use me, to starve me. I tug his shirt. “Or starve me, but don’t ever tell me again you’re protecting me while withholding the only thing I’ve ever asked you for.”

I reach up for his mask.

His hand shoots out to grab my wrist.

But he doesn’t stop me.

Slowly, I peel off the mask and toss it to the ground. Tears fill Axel’s blue eyes. His face is flushed, his hair a mess. “There he is.”

Axel’s chest moves up and down like he’s ran a marathon. I cup his face and bring it down and kiss him. He doesn’t move at first and then, he slams me back into the couch his mouth punishing me with every bite, every lick, every suck.

He moves his mouth to where he marked me. I jump beneath another lighter bite across it followed by his tongue.

“Who are you kissing?” He finally pulls back, eyes dazed and when I don’t answer he says. “See, that’s the problem, the lines are blurred when you’re in love with two versions of the same person.”

“Why can’t you co-exist.”

“I can’t be this and be Axel.”

“And yet you are.”

“And yet I’m dying inside.” He fires back. “I have zero self-control, especially when it comes to you.”

I drag my mouth over his again. Tasting him. Measuring every kiss, tilting my head and then pulling back. “Funny thing about self-control, Axel has none, and The Proctor has to fake it which begs the question…do you really want it in the first place when it comes to me?”

I swear a switch flips, his eyes darken and then I’m on my back and his hands are tearing at my clothes tugging them from my body as his mouth hungrily moves down my chest, his head disappearing between my breasts before going lower. Breath erratic, I nearly scream when his mouth lands on my belly button, his breath hot, his gaze even hotter as he looks up at me. “Can I taste you?”

“You don’t need permission.”

“It was more of warning posed as consent because I’m seconds away from snapping whatever self-control I have left. I’ve had to lay next to you,” he flicks at the opening of my jeans and tugs them down. “Watch you.” I help kick them to the floor. He tears my underwear with his bare hands. “Feel your heat next to me,” he growls. “For days without touching you.”

“You deserve a reward.”

“Many,” his hands dig into my thighs then he’s jerking them apart like an animal. “Many rewards.”

“Why does it feel like I’m the one receiving?”

“The reward is in fucking giving.” His head descends, his mouth clamps down on me and I’m lost, there’s nothing gentle about his ravenous kisses like he’s trying to fill me with his tongue and pull me apart with his mouth at the same time. With each kiss and suck, he coaxes another moan from my lips before my legs are shaking unable to take it, take the angle, as I hold his head down. Maybe there’s a thing about being Famine, about being so empty all the time, maybe I am my name, and maybe he’s his.

His only job is to keep me filled.

And he’s doing an excellent job of finding every empty part of me and making sure it’s permanently marked by him. I feel full, so full I can’t breathe. To think, I would ever have to go without this man, to think I missed. Not just the shot, but missed every single sign. I should have known the minute I smelled him, the minute he made me pause. I should have known, but me, a perfect shot. Missed.

Good.

His teeth dig into my right thigh before he sucks there leaving a mark, then moving to my left, and then he’s doing the same near my ass. I buck against his mouth and he bites down anyway, holding me still until I feel a bruise that his teeth left. He’s marking every inch of me that only I can see, that only he can reach right now.

“Axel.” His name gets caught in my throat, I can barely breathe it out when he’s dragging slow kisses up my right leg, his lips land on my hip lingering there, breathing in my skin, drawing lazy circles with his tongue. “What are you doing?”