Page 75 of The Honor Society

War: “Unmask.”

Jenner stirs next to me. Not yet, Jenner. Not yet.

Famine speaks up. “A deadlock, but a man who passes judgement without identity cannot be judged himself.”

I clear my throat. “The mask isn’t protection from judgment, it’s protection from influence.”

Famine laughs, “and yet, dear Proctor, you have, been influenced. Greatly.” She looks over her shoulder at Charlie, who’s standing calmly behind her like she’s chosen her side already and allowed Famine to take it’s seat without even challenging it first. Knowing what she knows, that I need her as heir to step up, need her vote, she would stand silent? She would betray me? It doesn’t make sense. She doesn’t look at me though. The mask covers her face like everyone else. And I am undone.

What the hell.

Slowly, Famine raises The Ledger. “An extra vote, is it not?” She follows it with The Dean’s List. “Funny how the one who should be protecting our secrets is suddenly so free with them? Hmm? They left your hands, they are now in mine, my vote is three you know how this works Proctor. If you become unmasked by votes then we can decide if you stay in power and your vote no longer keeps The Chancellor in his seat which makes any one of us a candidate.”

Charlie didn’t just fuck me over and steal what was mine in order to gain influence, she knew it was more votes. She purposefully armed Famine to take over. Why? What the fuck! I had one last move. Why didn’t she trust me? I had enough votes even without her, it would be messy, but I could have done it and now, now, The Ledger and Dean’s List have been invoked before I even get the shot.

I need to buy some time. I need to sway The Horsemen, and confuse everyone into thinking she’s the villain and got everything illegally. Which she did. “Possession and ownership are two very different things. For example, why would I willingly hand over ammunition to someone who wants nothing more than my death unless I want to prove my willingness to keep the playing field fair. You want to see my face? I want to see your sins. It’s only fair, Famine. How did you gain The Ledger? How much debt must I write in it? And how many people suffered in order for you to obtain The Dean’s List? Hmmm? Your skewed view on fairness within this organization is flawed. As is your understanding of love. I, however, hold nothing back, not now, not ever.” It’s a gamble.

It’s my final trust in Charlie. I decide not to use War to gain the vote. I chose to let her do what she came here to do. Fuck, am I choosing my own death? All I know is I love her. She said until death do us part, and maybe, just maybe this is where we actually part. I can’t find myself regretting loving her though, belonging to her. I can’t regret any of it. I can barely breathe. Air won’t go into my lungs it keeps getting stuck with each attempt. Maybe this is it. Maybe I truly did, in the end, trust too easily of a Horseman that does nothing but take. Then again, my heart, has only ever been the one thing I have in my possession to give. So, I did.

Take it.

Take me.

Worth the pain.

The slow cut of the obsidian blade burns into my brain. At least, hopefully, it will be fast, if it comes to that. My memories remain the same. My choice, remains the same.

Until death.

I handed her my own dagger in hopes she wouldn’t drive the blade forward. I told her words were fickle, actions however, were everything. I did not lie.

So this is me believing.

One last time.

Til death do us part.

Your move Famine.

“How I obtained it is irrelevant!” She shouts.

“No.” Charlie says from behind her. “Actually, it’s not. It’s really not.”

I exhale as she steps out of line. My heart may live to beat another day because what?

“Get back in line.” Famine yells.

“No.” Charlie’s calm, way too calm. Either I trained her well or she knows something I don’t.

“Charlotte.” Famine draws out her name like it’s personal.

Nobody calls her that. I don’t even call her that. Edward called her that.

She keeps walking and it’s like someone reached inside my fucking chest and demanded my heart beat again. She’s not betraying me. She’s not betraying me. I know it in her steps. I know it in her movements. In the brave tone of her voice.

I am hers.

I have only ever wanted to be hers.