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His eyes meet mine.

I give him a small smile. “You missed the jam.”

“That’s your argument?”

“It looked like nothing to you, but it mattered to him.”

I get up and stand in front of him. “Next time, give it to him.”

Alexei catches the front of my sweater. “What if I keep dealing with danger first, and he starts to think he matters less?”

There’s no anger in his voice, so I listen.

“You go back,” I say. “You apologize, and you make the soup again.”

“He’s three.”

“Yes.”

“He may not understand.”

“He understands when people come back.”

Alexei looks at the water. “I don’t know what to do with how much he wants.”

After a moment, he continues softly.

“He wants my hand, my chair, my food, my time. He calls me across the suite because his dinosaur fell over. He asks questions I can’t answer, then waits as if my answer is the most important thing in the world.”

“To him, it is.”

“I know.” His mouth tightens.

I sit beside him again and take his hand. His palm covers mine.

“It scares you?”

A short laugh leaves him. “You ask me that beside a pool while I’m naked.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“I don’t know this feeling.” He rises but keeps hold of my hand.

“Fear?”

“Being needed for things I’m no good at.”

Before I can answer, he continues.

“Maksim needs plans. Dmitri needs targets. Leonid needs decisions. Misha needs me to remember the cave page and put jam in soup that isn’t there.” His fingers tighten around mine. “I can do the first things. With him, I keep getting it wrong.”

“You’re learning.”

“I lose patience.”

“So do I.”

“You’re his mother.”