Page 332 of Faking the Goal

"You shouldn't say that," I whisper.

Kentaro goes still.

The warmth of his palm remains against my cheek, but I feel the change in him immediately, the way his entire body tightens as though he has been bracing for a blow and I have finally delivered it.

"What?"

"You shouldn't say things like that to me."

His forehead lifts from mine. Confusion creases his brow, followed quickly by something far worse. Hurt. "Why the hell not?"

Because I love you too.

Because hearing you say it feels like being handed everything I have ever wanted after spending my whole life convincing myself I did not need anything.

Because I could survive my former foster brother breaking every bone in my body, but I would not survive watching him break you.

I swallow the words until they cut all the way down.

"You shouldn't want me, Ken-chan."

His hand falls from my face.

"Don't tell me what I should want."

"I'm serious."

"So am I." His voice hardens, but beneath the anger, I hear the fear. "I just told you I love you, and that's your answer? That I shouldn't?"

"This isn't about what I feel."

"Then tell me what you feel."

The demand tears through me. I look away because I cannot lie while staring into his eyes, but I cannot tell him the truth either. If I tell him, he will stay. Kentaro does not know how to do anything halfway. He will plant himself beside me and dare Charlie to come close, believing he can protect me from whatever happens next.

And maybe he can.

But then Charlie's threat comes rushing back to me, cold and vicious.

If I don't end things with Kentaro, he'll hurt him next.

And this time, he'll make sure Kentaro is gone for good.

"I think you need to stay away from me."

The silence that follows is so complete that I can hear the faint rattle of the air vent above us.

Kentaro stares at me as though he does not recognize the person lying in this bed. "You don't mean that."

"I do."

"Look at me and say it."

I force myself to face him. It feels like turning a blade toward my own chest.

"I think you need to get some distance from me."

His nostrils flare. "Because of him?"