Page 39 of Shatter

Cass's smile softens as she pushes the tasting glasses towards me.

"That's just who he is. A fixer. A protector. Do you love him?"

I snort into the wine glasses, causing some to spray out and onto the counter. I wipe at it with my hand.

"It's been a day... I... I don't..."

I don't know.

I sip the wine again, stalling, while I come up with a politically correct answer. I've never been in love, and for how much I play it on the screen, I'm not sure I could ever define it for you. Does my chest feel lighter when I'm with him? Yes. Does my stomach swoop low every time he does or says something sexy? Yes. Does he know how to take care of me in the bedroom in ways I've never known before? Also, yes. But does all of that equal love? Is it some kind of formula? Chest plus tummy plus sex equals love?

"Have you ever been in love?" I ask her, deflecting.

She snorts indelicately. "No. And I never will."

I frown at her answer, until a deep voice to my left startles me.

"I said the same thing, and look at me now."

I look to my left to see an older man in a dark suit, who passes a bank bag to Cass, who takes it without a second thought, and hits open the till.

"Oh, I didn't bring any money..." I say, suddenly feeling lower than the gum on the bottom of someone's shoe. This is their business. Of course I'd have to pay for drinks. But I didn't think to grab my purse on the way here.

Cass waves a hand dismissively. "I doubt Harrison would let you pay, anyway."

I want to argue with her - that I'm not anything to Harrison - but I simply take a sip of my next white wine.

"Declan, this is Melody. Melody, Declan, former-perpetual-bachelor-who-fell-in-love," she says, pretending to gag on the last bit. I smile, suppressing a giggle at how easily she teases the intimidating man next to me.

I swivel in my chair and shake his hand. He's incredibly handsome, with salt-and-pepper hair, but his demeanor confuses me. He's somehow both angry and relaxed-looking.

I push my unease aside.

"So, what happened?" I ask, wondering if he can teach me something about falling in love.

"Serenity happened."

"What?"

Cass snorts again, placing the bills in the register carefully. "Serenity's his woman. She showed up one night with a black eye, and that was all it took."

"It took a bit more than that..." Declan grumbles unhappily beside me, and something about the exchange makes me smile.

"So, you fell in love..."

"So, I fell in love..." he repeats.

"Can you tell me about that? What it feels like? I may know how to play the role of a woman falling in love, but I'm not sure about real life," I confess. I should feel embarrassed, but I'm not. I'm young. How many people my age think they're in love, only to separate years down the road because they were mistaken?

Declan's quiet for a while, so I simply watch him think, sipping on the next wine.

"Oh! I like this..." I tell Cass.

"It's a German Riesling. I thought you might," she replies, breaking out a taller wine glass and pouring me a healthy serving. I'm not trying to get drunk tonight, but a nice buzz could take the last of my tension from my shoulders. It's a funny feeling, knowing that even if I did get drunk, I have a Harrison to take care of me. I know he'd take me home and make sure I was safe. I've never had that before. Parker never filled that role.

"It's not like falling..." Declan starts, his brow furrowed adorably. "It's the little things. It's the small moments that don't seem to matter at the time, but then you wake up one morning and can't imagine your life without that person. It's choosing them every day. It's deciding that no matter what happens in the future, your person will always come first."

I smile. That sounds nice. I definitely don't know what that feels like, though. All of my relationships have been transactional. Except Harry, a voice in the back of my mind reminds me.