Page 85 of Shatter

Who am I right now? I've never talked back, never pushed back. She had me so thoroughly trained as a doormat that I never even realized it had been abuse this entire time.

Now, I'm not Melody, the doormat. I'm Abby, the woman taking back control.

I crawl up my bed and lean against my headboard, picking up my phone and ready to doom scroll.

"Sweetheart, you're still young. You don't understand how the world works. Harrison's taking advantage of how naive you are..."

I fly to my feet, cross my room in three strides and fling the door open, furious.

"Don't you dare," I growl, pointing my finger in my mother's face. "Don't you date insinuate he did a damn thing wrong. That man is the best man I've ever met and I'm going to marry him one day."

I watch as Athena suppresses an eye roll, but then slides a sympathetic mask over her face.

"Oh honey. You don't really believe he sees you like that, do you? See? This is what I mean. You really think he fell for you?"

My muscles lock tight. The thing is, if she had tried this angle a month ago I would have cracked. I would have started to doubt. But Harrison has been showing me love for years.

It was the little things before this year - adding food to my plate, protecting me against my parents. Then it was the bigger things - helping me manage my self-destructive urges, protecting me and Parker from the public, standing beside me, loving me quietly, while I grew my wings.

So, instead of doubting, something inside me stills. I will not let her try to manipulate and twist what Harrison and I have and paint it as something other than the very best way two people can love each other.

"Where's my money, Athena?"

She flinches at the use of her first name and not 'mom' or 'mother'.

"Of course, it's safe," she starts, but I interrupt.

"Where is my money, Athena?"

"It's complicated. You wouldn't understand."

"Explain it to me then."

My voice is razor thin, but deadly. There's no room for argument; no emotion she can manipulate or play off of.

"It's not like that. We know what's best for you. We know what you want."

I stare at her.

And suddenly it's Harrison's voice I'm hearing.

What do you want?

Wine.

A job.

A bike.

A new name.

Dark hair.

The distance between my life with Harrison and my life with Athena couldn't be farther. With that final mistake, the silence is deafening. She and Marty always told me what I wanted.

Harrison asks me.

Even when I don't know, he waits patiently while I figure it out. The surety, the finality of it is a nail in the coffin. There isn't a future with my mother in it. There isn't a future without Harrison in it. I just need time.