Page 72 of When Darkness Calls

Dani

Is there something about my face that just makes people think they can come up to me, unannounced, and scare the ever-living shit out of me? Like what is going on lately?

Ethan grins sheepishly, slowly pulling his hand away from my shoulder as I pull out my earphones.

“Dude, you gotta stop doing that. Like, wear a bell or something. You’re gonna give me a heart attack,” I joke, chuckling softly.

His grin widens. “But if you’re wearing your earphones…you wouldn’t hear the bell either?” Ethan’s brow raises, a teasing gleam in his eye.

I click my tongue. “Touche.”

“Soo…you heading to class soon?”

Shaking my head, I put my earphones into my bag, pushing them back on my table in the Plaza. “No, I have a meeting with Professor Logan in like half an hour. Then I’m heading home for the day.”

He nods, kicking at the uneven brick laid across the courtyard, hands shoved deep into his jean pockets. “May I join you?” He looks pointedly to the empty seat across from me.

“Oh! Yeah, sure, of course. By all means.”

Ethan sits, slightly turned, with his legs stretched out to the side, leaning his weight onto the arm perched on the tabletop.

“You know…I also have a sort of office hours too…and you have my number…” He trails off, playing with the strap of my bag. “You didn’t have to go straight to Logan. I’d have been happy to help with whatever problem or issue you’re dealing with.”

Internally, I cringe. I knew that. I had stared at his number in my phone for days wondering if I should text him like Liz suggested but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He’s a nice guy. He’s kind and smart and cute in a really boy-next-door way. But…there's nothing really there. I don’t feel even the smallest fraction of emotions I feel when I see my shadow when I’m around Ethan. If anything, it’s kind of the opposite.

“No, no. I know that honestly. This isn’t really for help or anything. It’s my advisor check-in. That’s all.” My halfhearted shrug is met with a slightly over-dramatic sigh and a playful lift in the corner of his mouth.

“Well, there goes my casual attempt of finding a way to spend time with you. Guess I should’ve just asked you outright if you’d like to go out sometime, huh? Really bad at the whole ‘flirting’ and ‘showing an interest’ thing it seems.”

My lips part, brows lifting in surprise. I didn’t expect that. Shit is that actually what this has been? Has he been hitting on me this whole time?

Fuck what do I say?

I can’t just sit here gaping at him like a fish out of water. Should I say yes? Liz said I needed to try to get over Grayson, finally as she so delicately put it. But…wasn’t I doing that already…with my shadow…

God, I don’t even know if I can say that. It’s not like I’m dating him or something. I don’t even know his name. Or seen his face. Or spoken to him really.

That’s not really grounds for developing a relationship…even if he’s the only other person who has ever come close to making me feel the way that Grayson has.

Ethan watches me intently, and I can see the silence is beginning to weigh on him as his fingers twitch against the strap more frantic than before. He’s waiting, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to take it back or push for an answer.

What am I even doing tormenting myself over this? It’s not a universal moral and ethical dilemma. I’m a single, nineteen year old and a cute guy is interested in taking me out for a night.

What’s so fucking wrong about that, me?

I’ve spent the last month hyping myself and screaming into the void about getting my shit together and trying to live again, trying to re-introduce myself to that fearless, unashamed, unabashed, and uninhibited me.

Going on a date seems like the perfect opportunity to continue that journey.

Liz will be proud.

“Y-yes.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat before saying more confidently, “Yes.”

He smirks. “So, you agree I am really bad at flirting?”

“No, no! I mean, yes. Yes, I will go out with you.” Giddiness feels like static in your veins. The happy buzz blocking out everything else, including the cool rush on the back of my neck, making the little hairs stand on end.

The breeze picks up, pushing the few fallen leaves on the Plaza swirling into a whirlwind by the fountain.