Page 112 of To Tango, with Desire

“And?”

“And it was all bullshit.”

“That’s it? That’s the extent of your explanation?”

“What do you want me to say?”

Amira’s shoulders slumped. “What the hell are we even doing in this marriage, Zane?”

“Don’t—”

Fear. Slicing, stabbing, cold-blooded fear seized me.

I wouldn’t—I couldn’t think about what she was suggesting. Locking that away, burying that emotion down deep was the only way I could handle this.

“I can’t do this. I can’t second-guess everything because you won’t be honest.”

“You gave me a year.”

Those hateful words exploded from my mouth before I had a chance to think. I immediately regretted it. I knew it was the wrong thing to say. Three months ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated. I would have thought I was right and justified in reminding her of her obligations to our contract. To our marriage. But now? The words felt foreign. Crass.

“You’re talking about our contract right now? Jesus, Zane. You’re—” She broke off, frustrated. “That just proves my point. This, us . . . it’s never going to work unless you speak to me. Not like this.”

“You want a play by play? Fine, Chloe realized she fucked up at that charity ball. No, actually, her husband did. She’d been tipsy, and Reggie had called me to apologize for her behavior. He’s canny enough to know not to upset me, especially given he does business with some of my companies. So he made her come and see me. She spewed some shit about the past and how sorry she was for everything that she’d done, that she regrets her actions.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?”

“Because . . . I don’t know. I didn’t want this to be—”

“An issue. Yeah, I get it.” She dropped her bag on the floor.

“I thought I was protecting you from worrying about it, but I can see now that was stupid. You’ve had a lot going on and I didn’t want to burden you with the shit from my past. It’s my baggage to deal with.”

“Not when you’re married it isn’t. It becomes our baggage. And I never want you to weigh us down by lying about things.”

“I get it. I do. But can I ask you something? Do you honestly think I would cheat on you? That I would even consider taking her back?”

I could see her think about it and knew the moment she accepted that I would be faithful. I relaxed my jaw, rolling my shoulders.

“I need time to think. I need to process everything,” she responded.

“Amira, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“But you did, Zane. Damn it, I want more from you than scraps of emotion. You need to let me in. I—” She stopped her speech short, heading to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I need to clear my head. I’m going for a walk.”

“It’s dark out—”

“And we have a backyard the size of a freakin’ park. I just—I need some air.”

I watched her leave. Every part of me wanted to hold her, to stop her, but I was stuck. Frozen in place.

I felt like an avalanche had buried us both in this marriage. And I only had myself to blame.

TWENTY-NINE