Page 130 of To Tango, with Desire

“Mom, stop. Stop!”

“Why you look so angry? This is good thing.”

“Mom, I don’t think Amira—”

“Shush, you! Amira is pregnant and her family will be complete. Wait until I tell the rest of the—”

“No! Mom, you don’t understand. I don’t want it.”

Mom’s smile faded. “Don’t want what?” She stared back at me, confused.

“The baby. I’m getting rid of it.”

I watched as the words flew from my mouth. Stupid words. Stupid, hateful words that had no place landing in my mom’s ears. Fuck.

“Getting rid of . . .” Nasrin looked at Sahar, frowning.

“She means she’s getting an abortion, Mom.”

Nasrin gasped, her mouth falling open. It took only a few seconds for her to recover before she exploded in anger.

“Amira! You can’t do this. You’re murdering your baby! Are you stupid?”

“Mom, I really don’t want to discuss this right now.”

“No. We discuss it.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Shh.” Sahar flapped her arms, glancing at her daughter in the car seat. “Emmy’s asleep.”

But Sahar may as well have been talking from Mars. Mom didn’t hear a word. Instead, she paced up and down my kitchen, muttering to herself. Then yelling. At me.

“None of my business? I’m your mother! I tell you when you stupid, and killing your baby is wrong. You go straight to Hell, Amira!”

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“You idiot!” Nasrin roared. “You worse than a donkey. No brains. You marry the wealthy man, you young and healthy, and you say you kill your baby? No. I can’t take this.”

“It’s not your decision to make.”

“You do this, you no longer my daughter.”

I met my mother’s angry, tear-filled gaze. I knew she was hurt, but her lack of regard for my feelings on this hurt even more. Did she think I did this lightly? Without a care in the world? I swallowed the pain, trying my best to put on a brave face, but all I wanted to do was cry.

I wanted to rail and protest, to fight back, but I stood there, blinking back unshed tears as she hurled abuse at me. I was good for nothing. Stupid. A waste.

“Your husband won’t stand for this.”

“Actually, he’s very supportive.”

“Supportive? Stupid girl. He’ll cheat on you, make some other woman pregnant and you’ll be the wife he never wanted. Wake up! Every man wants a child.”

“That’s not true!”

“Then you’re dumber than I thought. He might make love to you and give you fancy presents, but at the end of the day, he wants his children. He wants his heir. He’s a Lebanese man. They all want the same thing. If you believe anything else, then you really are naive.”

“Mom—”