Page 135 of To Tango, with Desire

“It’ll be okay. I got you.”

I threw on whatever I could find, but when I came back, Amira had risen. She managed two steps before her legs buckled. Dashing forward, I grabbed hold of her before her head hit the floor.

“Amira? Amira!” I shook her a little, terrified. She’d passed out, her skin waxy, her pulse thready and weak.

Not wanting to waste a minute, I carried her out to the car and drove to the closest hospital. I couldn’t sit around waiting for an ambulance at 2 AM. I needed to do something. I felt oddly present and yet out of my body, as if a part of me was observing everything at a distance. And yet the prickly sensation on my body and the constant pounding in my chest kept me grounded.

She would be okay. She had to be okay.

Driving like a madman, I murmured words of encouragement, hoping like hell she could hear me, that it would somehow help.

I pulled up to the emergency department and carried her in my arms to the triage station. Given her state, she was admitted straight away.

And then I was left there. To wait.

I paced, unable to stop my mind from racing. I tried to remain calm, to tell myself that Amira was young and in good health. She wouldn’t die. She wasn’t allowed to, damn it.

We were in a good place. We were—

“Mr. Nasser?”

I turned as her doctor approached.

“How’s Amira? Is she okay?”

The woman was soft-spoken but direct. “I’m so sorry Mr. Nasser, but your wife is in a critical state. She has what we call an ectopic pregnancy.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means this pregnancy cannot safely continue and it's not possible to save the fetus. Given the extensive swelling in her abdomen, her fallopian tube will need to be removed. We’re prepping her right now for emergency surgery. She’s delirious, and I think from what we can gather, she’s happy to move forward. To remove the tube.”

“Will . . . Is Amira okay? Is she gonna—” I couldn’t bear to voice my fears. Saying it would somehow make it true, and I couldn’t lose her. That wasn’t an option.

“There are risks in this operation, Mr. Nasser, which is why it’s imperative that we act now. There has been a rupture that has caused a lot of blood to pool in her abdomen. It happens when the egg gets fertilized outside of the uterus. It’s very dangerous for your wife right now, and we’re in a critical window. If the surgery is a success, there’s no reason why she can’t go on to have more children.”

“She doesn’t— We don’t—”

My heart felt like it was being shredded.

It was my fault. Amira was in this situation because of me. I wanted to scream. To fight. The one thing I’d promised to do, the one vow I’d made to her father was to protect his daughter. I couldn’t save him. All the money in the world and I couldn’t save him.

Would I lose Amira, too?

My throat closed over and I found it hard to breathe.

“We’ll let you know as soon as it’s over.”

“Can I see her?” I could barely find the words. What if Amira died? What if I lost her? I gripped my phone, unable to do anything more than beg this woman for a chance to see my wife. It was out of my hands. I was helpless, just as I had been as a child. Unable to do anything else but wait and hope. “Please, I need to see her.”

“You have two minutes.”

My chest was tight as I followed the doctor in.

“Amira!”

Her eyes fluttered open. “Zane?”

“I’m here. I’m right here, sweetheart. They’re going to help you. Once this is over, you’ll feel so much better. You just hang in there, okay? You come back to me, you understand?”