Page 146 of To Tango, with Desire

“Did Kade ever mention his mom? Did he say anything about her death?”

“Never. Just that he missed her and was sad that she couldn't sing to him anymore. He would become really agitated any time we asked, so we didn't push it. She had died only a year before we met Omar. So when my mom started working for him, she became like a surrogate mother to Kade. Even though they had nannies, Kade gravitated towards her. Mom said he used to have nightmares. She would sometimes stay late to soothe him, as he refused to be comforted by anyone else. He was just a child, scared and alone. He'd lost his mom at a young age and it devastated him. Now that I know what Omar was like, his true self, I can understand Kade’s actions. I see him in a different light.”

“Why would Omar stay in that house if she did commit suicide?”

“I don’t know. I often wondered that. Then I just assumed the rumors that she jumped off the roof must not have been true. That it really had been a stroke. You know how people like a good story. Kade never spoke a word of it, and any time Mom asked Omar, he’d say it was all a terrible accident.”

“I suppose it would be hard to admit your wife killed herself in the family home.”

“Yeah.” He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“It’s so sad.”

“I just don’t understand how a man so generous could also be so fucking callous. To go from finding us a bigger apartment to live in, to paying off my father’s drug debt, to making sure I had a good education . . .” Zane shook his head. “How could he go from all that to treating my mom and his own son like dirt. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. You know, the crazy thing is, I thought I’d never forgive Kade for all the hurt he caused me.”

“With your ex?”

“Yeah. You know I found them in my penthouse, right?”

I gasped. “Zane, no!”

“In the first penthouse I bought when I made my millions. That home meant a lot to me, and I was proud of it. I came back a day early from a work trip and caught them screwing in my bed.”

“Oh my god.”

“I thought my world had just imploded. I thought nothing could be worse than that pain.” Zane scoffed. “I was so fucking wrong.”

“I’m so sorry.”

I thought about how Kade had twisted the story. In his confession, he’d left out the part where they’d been caught in bed together. Hell, he’d made it seem like it’d been Chloe’s fault all along. I thought about all the times Kade had lied or manipulated the truth. The man needed help. And I hoped for Zane’s sake, that he would get it.

“Not your fault.” Zane ran his finger along the patterned duvet. “I’ve always felt caught between two worlds as a child. Like I never fit in wherever I was. As an adult, I found it hard to find my place, especially when I was making a name for myself. By the time I earned my first million, I felt like a fraud.”

“Oh, Zane.”

“When I hit that second, I thought someone was going to take it all away . . . and it was when I made my third that I met Chloe.”

“You still felt like an impostor.”

His shoulders lowered and he looked at me with gratitude. “Yeah, crazy, isn’t it?”

“Not really. We all put up fronts when we don’t feel like we’ll be accepted.”

“How’d you get so wise?” He nudged my shoulder.

“Born that way.”

Zane shook his head. “Dating Chloe made me feel like I’d finally made it. That maybe my past wouldn’t matter. But her parents dug up everything on me and made me aware of the fact that they knew how bad my life had been. They then offered to overlook it.”

“They what?”

“Yeah, like they were doing me some big favor. I’ve never felt so fucking worthless. Like no matter how much money I had, I’d still be the son of a druggie and a maid. Deep down inside was the thought that I didn’t deserve her. You don’t just grow up in one of the poorest areas, with the highest drug and suicide rate, and not have that stuff taint you.

“Omar, for all his vices, made it very well known that I was like a son to him. If he hadn’t have done that, I don’t think half the people would’ve accepted me at their table.”

“They didn’t deserve you. She didn’t deserve you.”

“No, she didn’t. At the time, I thought I loved her. But I wasn’t myself around her, I always felt like I had to play a part, you know? I didn’t know who I fucking was back then.”