Page 50 of To Tango, with Desire

As a compromise, I’d hung my engagement ring on a scuffed gold chain, wearing it around my neck. I still couldn’t bear to place it on my finger. Not until we sorted everything out. I wanted to make sure he would respect my boundaries. We needed to be on the same page before I agreed.

I knew marriage to this man wouldn’t be all sunshine and roses, but seeing how happy my parents were at this match and hearing my dad talk about surgery options had shocked me. There was nothing stopping me from agreeing until my dad had his procedure and then getting an annulment. In a moment of midnight panic, I’d texted Zane with those thoughts. All he’d said was that he knew marriage would be way too enjoyable for me to want to leave, but that I was welcome to do as I pleased. Not that I ever would. Doing that seemed so cold, so calculating. And I simply didn’t have it in me.

“Why is this absurd? We’re out having dinner as a couple.”

I studied his relaxed manner for a full minute. “You know, sometimes I’m not sure if you’re just arrogant or demented. We’ve yet to go through my terms for this agreement. I could back out of this tomorrow.”

“I gave you the opportunity to back out the night of your birthday, but you declined. Why is that I wonder?”

I didn’t want to think about my reasons for wanting to stay. My response that night had shocked me. Zane had offered me an out and I had declined. Why?

“Have you changed your mind since we last spoke? Perhaps told your parents we’ve split up?”

“No,” I replied, running my finger up and down the soft white table napkin. God, why was I so nervous all of a sudden? It was stupid.

But I knew why. Being here, sitting opposite him at a restaurant, sharing a meal together, made this real. Was I ready for it?

“Perhaps deep down inside, you’ve come to realize that marrying me is a dream come true.”

I sputtered. “Your arrogance is frightening.”

“Justified.”

“Deluded.”

“Amira, has it ever occurred to you that maybe you want to marry me? That the reason you didn’t deny this was because the idea has its benefits? That even though arranged marriages go against your beliefs, that perhaps your initial judgment was based on fear and not fact?”

“No.”

He leaned forward. “Don’t think too much about this. Tonight was meant to be a chance to get to know one another on a deeper level. You have every right to back out of this if you want.”

“So you say.” I took a deep breath in, trying my best to focus on anything but his handsome face. He looked so damn good tonight in his dark blue suit. His gold tie complemented my dress, and the way he looked at me—like he would devour me whole— was arousing as hell.

Down girl.

I cleared my throat. “Seeing as though we’re getting to know each other, what happened at my birthday? Why were you angry at Kade after he called?”

“It’s personal.”

I shook my head. “This isn’t going to work if you won’t share your life with me. What about your childhood? What happened between you two? I want to know.”

Before he could answer, the waiter arrived. I didn’t need to place an order as Zane insisted on a degustation menu consisting of five sumptuous courses. I had to admit it sounded amazing.

Zane leaned back, toying with his glass. He insisted on matching the five courses with wine pairings, as per the sommelier’s suggestions. It was wonderful and slightly overwhelming to be caught up in a world that I hadn’t experienced. One that was alien to me. Up until now.

Was this what he expected of me? Fine dining and fancy outfits?

It was only when the amuse bouche was served that he began. “Kade had called upset that night, and it brought up shit from our past. I got angry and ended the call because it’s not the first time that he’s done this.”

“I think you need to hear him out.”

“Amira,” his warning tone spoke volumes.

“Okay, we’ll come back to that once you’ve had a few glasses of wine. What about your childhood? I want to know everything about you Zane.”

His expression was even, but I knew it was just a mask he put in place when he didn’t want to talk about something. I was beginning to understand his mannerisms, his quirks.

“I’d like to say I had an idyllic childhood, but that would be a lie. I have vague recollections of my dad when I was a toddler, but he died when I was five. My mother had to work long hours cleaning other people’s homes to make ends meet. The work was sporadic and not enough to pay our bills, so it took a while for her to actually make the choice to leave him for good. We had it tough, and it wasn’t until we met Omar Latif that our lives changed.