Page 69 of To Tango, with Desire

I smiled. “How romantic.”

Maryam shook her head, clucking her tongue. “Do you want to know what the note said?”

I nodded.

“Maryam, my love, get your butt down that aisle. You have five minutes.”

I laughed at the image of gentle Tony De Lotto bossing her around. But then again, he could do that because they’d been in love. Their circumstances were so very different than mine.

“You see, he knew I was petrified, that I missed my family. He knew I longed for so much that I didn’t have, but he believed we could make it work.”

“He loved you.”

Maryam held my hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “I know you have an arrangement with Zane. I wasn’t sure whether to speak to you about this, but it’s been burning inside of me since the moment I met you. And you probably know me well enough now to know that I don’t hold my tongue.” She winked. “So listen, habibti, I know this isn’t how you imagined becoming engaged and married. From what Zane has told me, he didn’t handle your proposal or any of this as he should have. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t real and you’re not important to Zane. I’ve seen you the past few months together. I know he cares. Zane wouldn’t marry you otherwise, even if he says it’s just a convenient arrangement.”

I bit my lip, caught by Maryam’s shrewdness. She loved Zane very much, but did that obscure her clarity? Did it stop her from seeing his true character?

“I’ve known that boy since he was a child. If he ever shuts you out, you come to me.”

“I’d be at your doorstep every day if that were the case.”

“He doesn’t let people in at first, but that’s not always been the way. He’s told you how he grew up?”

“He has. But he doesn’t say much about it. I feel like I have to pry information out of him.”

“Well, it might shock you to know that despite his upbringing, he was a lot more open in his youth. He had an intensity about him that often drew people in. He wasn’t always the loudest, but he had presence. It’s what made him untouchable on the street and unbeatable in business.”

“I believe that.” I wasn’t sure why she was here, telling me these things.

“My point is, there’s so much more to that man than he wants people to see. He acts as if he’s immune to feelings or heartache, but Zane was hurt before. He had his heart broken in a way that—” Maryam shook her head, eyes filled with anger. “He grew hard because of it, but he isn’t unfeeling, Amira. Remember that.”

I thought about the surprise renovation of my store, or the allowance he’d set up for me every month. Or the fact that he’d hired Isabella to redecorate his home to my liking.

Not long after I formally accepted his proposal, Zane had demanded that I have a home office, a place where I could sew and design clothes outside of my store. He’d then demanded that we redecorate the bedroom, adding in my own walk-in closet. Which then turned into a full redecoration of his home.

He’d made sure that I had a say in the way every room in that mansion was designed. He’d wanted to make sure everything was ready for me when I moved in.

No, he wasn’t unfeeling. But I knew that being companions, friends even, in this marriage wouldn’t be enough for me.

I wanted to be loved. And here I was, marrying the only man on Earth incapable of loving me. But he cared for me. I could believe that. I’d seen it in many ways in the lead up to this wedding. Surely that was a good first step?

I wanted to ask who the woman was that had broken his heart, but it wasn’t the time. Knowing that he’d loved before but vowed never to again made me feel sick. It shed some light on why he was so averse to it, why he refused to fall in love.

“By the way, you look gorgeous.”

I glanced back at Maryam, realizing that the urge to bolt had subsided. I had a feeling that was exactly why she’d come. And I was grateful.

“Thanks.”

“Deep breath.”

Brenda, the wedding planner, popped her head in. “Ready to become Mrs. Hadid-Nasser?”

I nodded.

“Thanks again, Maryam.” I hugged her, taking one last fortifying breath.

It was time to get married.