Page 81 of To Tango, with Desire

I shook my head. “I doubt that very much. Plus, it’s none of Kade’s fucking business what I decide to do. As far as I’m concerned, my relationship with him is strictly business.”

“What happened between you two?”

I cursed, stepping back. I’d finally caved, giving in to Kade, putting up a chunk of money for this venture, but his behavior worried me. One minute, he seemed put together, focused, ready to tackle a new challenge, and the next he was stuck in his old ways. Partying like a frat boy instead of a grown fucking man.

It brought back too many memories.

“This isn’t the time to discuss it.” Tension gathered at the back of my neck. I did my best to unclench my jaw, to calm the fuck down.

“I feel like there’s never a right time.”

“Kade betrayed me. And the only reason I’m in business with him is because of Omar.” I rubbed at my jaw, knowing she wouldn’t back down. The determined look in her eyes made that very obvious.

“What—”

“I made a promise to Omar, on his deathbed, that I would look out for Kade. He knew what had happened between us and to be fair to him, he never demanded that I forgive his son. But when he was close to death, before he passed, he made me promise . . .”

The memory of it only increased the hollow feeling in my chest. I shoved my hands in my pockets, willing the pain to fuck off.

Amira placed her hand over my heart. Every passing day between us taught me something new about her courage, her strength. She was chipping away at my resolve. I could feel it, the small, subtle changes that had me yielding when I wanted nothing more than to hold my ground. Fear, the cold, clammy creature that fed on my insecurities, wanted to dig its claws in and never let go.

Shutting it down, willing it away, I forced myself to speak. “He made me promise to look after Kade. To help him. If there was ever a time he came to me in need, to not turn my back on him. To be a brother after a decade of silence.”

In Amira’s eyes, I saw compassion, but more than that was an understanding of how such a request would have broken me. “And of course you said yes.”

I nodded. “How could I refuse a dying man’s wish? Omar was my everything. I couldn’t let him down. I couldn’t let him die knowing that I was going to abandon his son. So I agreed to watch out for Kade, to help him. He’d always been wild growing up. He got into trouble a lot. In and out of rehab.”

“Shit. That must have been hard.”

I cleared my throat, steeling myself against the bitterness. “I wanted to hate him, the man who’d had everything given to him on a silver platter, but I couldn’t. We grew up together, fought together. And I did everything I could to help him when he was in a spiral. Kade lost his mother at a young age, and I don’t think he ever recovered from it.”

“So he bottled up all that sadness. The poor boy.”

“Nothing we did could help him. No amount of money could rid him of that lack, of the feeling of being abandoned. I, at least, had my mother until I was eighteen, but I got the sense that Kade felt like something was missing. He was constantly trying to fill that gap, and it nearly killed him, many times.

“So when Omar asked, I said yes because I remembered Kade as a boy. The way he would always beg his dad for a cuddle or a story. Until one day he just shut down. Omar wasn’t always as soft as I think Kade needed him to be. Even though he had all the nannies, all the breeding, all the opportunities, there was something missing.”

And he had nearly destroyed himself trying to find it.

Not for the first time, I couldn’t help but wonder if Omar’s death had triggered something in Kade. And a part of me was worried what that would do to him.

I would have my secretary contact the executor and make it known not to bother my wife or me again. I had no interest in benefiting from Omar’s death. His loss was painful enough. Let whatever cars or boats, whatever the fuck he’d decided to gift me be passed on. I would never have what I really wanted: to see Omar alive again.

Once upon a time, I’d believed that finding a partner and falling in love would be what I wanted, too. But I knew better. I was wiser now.

I had a marriage to a smart, compelling, sexy woman and that would be enough. She couldn’t have my heart, and I would never dare to take hers.

And we would both be happier for it.

“Zane?”

“Hmm?” I blinked, and her face came into focus.

“Thank you for sharing that with me. I—it’s important.”

I leaned forward, accepting her gentle kiss.

She may be chipping away at my armor, but I was certain Amira would never steal my heart.