Page 243 of ClickBack

He points. I watch again.

“That’s a lot of people to trust.”

“Yeah.”

This time I see why he keeps returning to it. He is trying to learn what they will do, and they are learning him. Being good at the same sport has not made them good together yet.

He runs the next clip. Javon gets past him and scores. I make an appreciative sound before I remember whose sofa I am on.

Jarrett turns his head.

“It was a good shot,” I say.

“Watch the next one.”

I do. When he blocks Javon’s attempt, I give him the same appreciative sound.

“Better,” he says.

“Very mature.”

He puts our empty containers on the table, then settles back. I sit beside him, my shoulder against his. When he pauses the picture again, I touch his arm.

“I scheduled the replacement. October.”

His attention leaves the screen.

“The IUD?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

I thought about it at Jawn, laughing with Nina and Bellamy. I wanted more afternoons like that. I wanted to be able to want them without first proving how much I loved the child I already raised.

“I can imagine a baby with you,” I tell him. “I can imagine it being lovely. That doesn’t make me want to raise another child.”

He puts the remote down.

“I needed to separate those things,” I say.

“You sure?”

“As sure as I can be. I don’t want to try.”

Jarrett looks at our hands where I have put mine over his.

“I’ve been thinking about it, too.”

I wait. I promised myself I would let him answer.

“When I picture what I want right now, you’re in it. Not some version of you who has to give me something else first.” He looks at me. “I’m good with the life we’re making. I don’t feel cheated out of anything, Zel.”

I move closer until I can put my head against his shoulder.

“Thank you for thinking about it.”

He kisses the top of my head. We sit that way, the game frozen on the screen, until I can tell him the other part.