Page 64 of You Were Always the One

For a moment, she doesn’t speak. ‘I’ve made you a sandwich,’ she says.

‘Cheese and pickle, with a slice of apology?’ I raise one of my eyebrows.

Her cheeks flush. ‘All I did was ask if you’re in love with someone else.’

‘It was a bit more than that.’ She’s not getting away with it that easily.

She ignores me. ‘Don’t dismiss the France idea. At least, not until you’ve listened to what I’m about to say.’ She pauses. ‘I called Archie this morning. We had quite a long talk. I told him about the flat I’ve found. But, in a nutshell, he’s asked me to move in with him instead.’

‘Wow.’ I stare at her. ‘Isn’t it a bit quick?’

‘I know how it looks.’ She pauses. ‘But I’ve been seeing him for four months now – and we’ve been friends for longer. I think I’m going to.’

‘OK,’ I say slowly. ‘You’re sure?’

She shrugs. ‘I think so. Whatever happens, we have to move out of here. I know I’m not very nice to you and whether or not it works out with Archie, time will tell. But I think we have a chance. And he wants to be around when the baby comes.’

What about me being around? Or am I being usurped? I fold my arms. ‘If that’s what you want.’

‘I don’t know what I want.’ Her voice wavers slightly. ‘But like I told you. I really do like him, otherwise I wouldn’t consider it.’ She sighs. ‘Don’t worry about me, Rigby! I think it’s for the best. He’s calling in after his flight lands, to help me with my stuff.’ Coming over, she reaches up and kisses me on the cheek. ‘I’m sorry. For being difficult. For snapping at you last night. And I’m sorry for fucking us up.’

‘It wasn’t you. It was both of us.’ The strangest emotions are churning inside me. ‘For the record, I’m sorry, too,’ I say inadequately, standing there as, turning, she goes upstairs.

While she starts her packing, I finish the sandwich she made me. In spite of our baby, it feels like she’s doing the right thing. She deserves a chance at happiness – and Archie seems to make her happy. And if it’s going to work, they don’t need me in the picture.

I’m letting her go, I realise. Which means to a certain extent I’m letting our baby go, too, and I don’t like how that feels. But if Emma and I are not going to be together, it’s the only way.

When she comes downstairs, she looks at me. ‘I’m pretty much done.’ She pauses. ‘This feels really strange,’ she says.

‘It’s good,’ I say. ‘I want you and Archie to be happy. But I’m here, too,’ I remind her.

‘I know you are. And I’m grateful for that.’ Her eyes glitter. ‘It really is goodbye, isn’t it?’

‘Only for now. We’ll be seeing each other. And this is a good thing,’ I say. ‘For both of us.’

When Archie turns up, I help him carry Emma’s stuff out to their cars. She hugs me briefly. Then I detect a glimmer of hope for them as she smiles at Archie the way that she used to smile at me. Standing there, I watch them drive away, a sense of relief coming over me. It’s as though a long drawn-out chapter has finally come to an end.

As I go inside, the house feels empty and oddly quiet. It also feels deeply calm. It isn’t until that evening, I see something out of place. Or rather back in its place. It’s the Murano lamp, a note tucked underneath it.

You were right. You should have this. E. xx

The following morning, I message Holly.

Hi. Hope you are OK?

I hesitate. There’s so much I want to tell her – at some point. I carry on typing.

I miss you x

Then I press send.

It seems moving on is how things are going now. Still I’m uncertain about whether I go to France, or stay here. In the end, I decide on France. After all, as I said to Emma, if she needs me, I’ll only be a short flight away. Then after emailing my landlord to tell them I’m moving out early, I start working out what I’m going to take, and what I’m going to store at my mother’s – as long as she doesn’t mind, that is.

Picking up my phone again, I call her. ‘Mum? It’s me.’

‘Rigby!’ She sounds delighted. ‘I was just thinking about you. How is everything?’

‘Pretty good, actually. Emma’s already moved out. And I’ve found somewhere to live for the next couple of months.’