Page 108 of Stanton Unconditional

I hold my hand up and he takes it gently in his and we lie together in silence watching a stupid show on ice truckers.

After a heavenly comfortable silence of about half an hour, Joshua kisses my temple again and I smile into him.

“Josh,” I whisper.

“Mmm,” he answers sleepily.

“If I could be anywhere in the world tonight, doing anything I wanted…”

“Mmm,” he answers.

“I would want to be here with you, doing just this.” I feel him smile behind me.

“Really?” he replies.

“Really,” I smile. He kisses my temple again.

“You can be quite endearing when you want to be, Miss Marx, and very easily pleased,” he whispers.

I smile again and turn my face, so he kisses my cheek. “You can shut up and look pretty now,” I whisper. I feel him smile behind me as he kisses my temple again.

“Goodnight Josh,” I smile.

“Goodnight Tash,” he whispers.

I struggle to break free. The sound of Joshua groaning as they hit him echoes through the dark wet tunnel. Three men are holding him while three others are taking turns hitting him.

“Stop it. You’re going to fucking kill him. Please, let him go,” I sob out loud.“ Please, what do you want?”

They start to kick him, and I scream. “NO! You are going to kill him! Please stop it.” I sob while I fight the two men holding me as I try desperately to break free. They throw me onto the ground and one of them kicks me in the stomach. I scream in pain and I hear Joshua go crazy again as he tries to break free.

“Let her go,” he screams. “Kill me… just let her go. It’s me you want.”

They pick up a metal bar and hit him across the face. “Nooooooooo!” I scream.

“We are not letting her go. Who will we take turns fucking with her gone? There are nine of us to please, you know.”

Joshua goes crazy. “I’ll fucking kill you when I get free,” he screams. “I swear to God, if you touch her, you gutless pricks you’re fucking dead.”

I look to the corner where Ben’s dead body is slumped in the corner.

I close my eyes, the pain too much to bear. They continually hit him until he slips into unconsciousness.

Dear God, no!

One of them hits me hard across the face and I fall to the ground. They gather around and one of them unzips his pants.

“Joshua!” I scream. “No!” I struggle again as I try to break free. “Joshua!” I scream.

I am shaken awake. “Tash…baby, I’m here. It’s ok.”

My terrified eyes flick around the room as I sob and shake in fear. It was just a nightmare. Joshua pulls me into an embrace.

“You’re safe, it’s ok,” he whispers. “Jesus. What were you dreaming about?”

I sob into his chest as he cuddles me, and my eyes flick around the room again. We are in my living room. My body shakes with fear, and perspiration dampens my skin. My chest racks with sobs, why am I still having this horrible nightmare? What does it mean?

“Tash, talk to me. What were you dreaming about?” he whispers into the top of my head as he holds me tightly.