Page 98 of Stanton Unconditional

She sobs. “Me too.” I walk her over to the lounge and we take a seat.

“What has been going on this weekend, is she ok?” I ask as I grab her hand.

She nods. “I have just had to watch her say goodbye to all of her old dear friends. It’s just so horrible, Natasha, everyone is crying and she is being so strong. I feel like I need to be strong for her, but I don’t have the strength anymore.” She sobs into me as I cuddle her.

“It’s ok, Mum. You fall apart and let me be strong for you.

I’m strong enough for the both of us at the moment.”

She cries into my arms. This situation is just so heart- breaking.

Why do people have to die?

For ten minutes I sit quietly as she sobs. I hate watching her like this, she is normally so strong, bulletproof. I remember when Dad died, I was like this and she was strong for me. It’s my turn to do the same for her.

My bedroom door slowly opens. Oh shit, I had forgotten about Joshua. My eyes flick in his direction.

Mum looks up and sees him, and she stands in a rush. “Joshua, darling, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here.” Her eyes flick to me in a question and she smiles.

He gives us a lopsided smile. “Hi,” he says gently.

I smile broadly up at him. He is wearing dark denim jeans and a white v neck t-shirt, his clothes from last night. His muscular physique is screaming to my body to get back to the bed. Even straight out of bed he looks totally beautiful, like he just stepped off a modelling shoot. His dark hair and skin are in stark contrast to his white shirt. He walks over to Mum and bends and gently kisses her cheek.

“You ok?” he whispers as he puts his hand on her shoulder.

My eyes drop to his muscular forearm, the visible veins run up his arm and disappear under his shirt sleeve. Just being in the vicinity of his super-fit body is arousing to mine.

She nods. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you kids. I will leave you to it.”

Joshua shakes his head affectionately. “No, I was leaving anyway,” he says quietly.

My face drops and I grab his hand. “No, don’t go. Stay with me today.”

He looks at me and smiles. “No, spend some time with your mum, I will catch you later.”

I stand in a rush. Catch me later…when? When later? I nod reluctantly. “I will walk you out.”

I follow him to the door, and he turns to my mum. “I will see you later at the hospital?”

Mum smiles and nods. “Yes, dear. It’s lovely to see you here, Joshua.” She smiles broadly and I shrivel with embarrassment, she knows exactly what we have been doing. Joshua smiles and dips his head, also embarrassed.

I walk him to the door and out onto the landing. “Sorry,” I whisper as I rub my hand on his cheek.

He nods and looks at the ground. “It’s ok,” he says quietly. “Can I see you tonight?” I whisper.

He frowns at me. “Umm, probably not.”

I frown. “Are you doing something?”

He shakes his head as he takes my hand and looks at the ground. “Tash…I don’t want anything.”

I frown again. “What do you mean?” I ask as panic starts to fill my veins.

“Natasha, I don’t want to pick up where we left off…Last night… this morning, it was a mistake.”