Page 255 of Valentino

“Tell me that you love me enough to accept all of me, my faults, and my job.” He drops to his knees and takes my face into his hands. “Because for you, Anna…I will do anything.”

“Except leave a dangerous job.”

“Don’t you see, it’s because it is dangerous that I can’t leave.” He kisses me softly. “I have gone over and over this for a month and it keeps coming back to the same thing. It is more unsafe for me to outright leave than it is to stay.”

I roll my eyes.

“Listen, listen.” He grabs my face. “I will do everything I can to eradicate risks. I’ll tone it right down, I’ll train people up in what I do, and I can scale back. But I cannot leave altogether.” His eyes hold mine. “And…I won’t go out on location….” He keeps adding things as to why he should stay. “We can live half the week in Rome and the other half in Milan, and you can keep your job, and if you have to travel you will just have to have your guards with you.” He gives me a half smile. “But that’s okay, isn’t it?” His eyes search mine as he holds my hands in his.

I stay silent, my face solemn.

“Isn’t it?” His smile fades. “Tell me it’s okay, Anna.” He holds my hands tight. “Please….” His jaw clenches as his eyes search mine. “If you want me to beg, I’ll fucking beg.”

I watch him in a detached state, this is not the fairy-tale ending that I wanted. Far from the declaration of love that I first thought it was.

My heart hurts, for me and for him. Somehow it seems worse to know that he loves me back.

When I can’t reply, he eventually flops down to sit onto the floor and leans up against the wall with his knees bent.

“I’ve been through some dark times,” he says softly as he stares at the floor.

“I know.”

“And through it all…. The only thing that kept my heart beating was the dream that you would be waiting for me on the other side of it.”

A lump forms in my throat.

“That one day I would get my shit together enough to have you fall in love with me.”

I blink through tears.

“And we would….” He shakes his head before cutting himself off.

“What?” I whisper. “What would we?”

“We would be in love and umm….” His eyes stay fixed on the wall, as if looking me in the eye is too hard. “We would forget the rest of the world, and get married and….” I watch the muscle in his jaw tic. “Be a family.”

“I want that too,” I whisper.

His eyes rise to meet mine.

“More than anything, I want that.”

“What are you saying?” He frowns.

“I have one condition.”

“What is it?”

“I come first.”

“Of course you come first. That’s a given.”

“What I mean is that if I ask you to leave something alone…. You need to promise me that you will.”

“What does that even mean, Anna?”

“I need to know that I still have a say.”