Page 26 of Teddy Bear

I am lying on the wooden deck of the boat. My head is laid carelessly on Danny's lap, my groin and thighs are completely bare and spread, while his cold fingers firmly grip my shoulders and caress my hair.

The water around me is as thick as tar, sticky and black, with an undulating, impenetrable surface that threatens to drag me down to a sticky bottom full of rot.

I am completely surrounded by this black liquid. I float on it, surrendering to the heavy current that carries me. My body is a white, weightless, floating crumb in the endless sticky blackness of the lake of my subconscious.

I feel the weight of the black, leaden water lapping my bare limbs and the wide-open pink crack of my wet and eager crotch.

Danny's fingers slide lower, to my exposed pussy.

I can feel my soaked hair, its brown strands blending with the black, sticky lake of my fragmented mind.

Everything is calm, dead, black. I float on the surface of the black lake, looking at the closed sky above me.

There is no end and no beginning - it seems that all the roads, all the doors and passages of this world are drowned in this bottomless, sticky, black pool with ultimately no way out.

In a way, that hopelessness is pleasant.

I like the fact that everything closes and shuts down before me.

The fact that everything is irretrievably lost and destroyed in an incredible way changes the perspective.

Now, when I stand peacefully on the pyre, without guilt that would drag me down, without self-reproach, and cruel judgement, I am free. If everything is destroyed, then I guess there is no one to blame - and neither the cause nor the reason is important; if the abyss has absorbed everything into itself, then everything is irrelevant, and we are free only to exist as we are, as pale, lost points in an endless desolate universe.

Around me I see small pieces of tin covered with cinders.

Thick smoke begins billowing in the distance, filling the empty sky with its gray, disembodied form.

I sway in the black waves as tiny black particles fly over my face. Some of the debris also falls on my naked body, touching the white, taut skin of my stomach.

I observe pieces of wood and sheet metal, rubber and glass, corroded by fire and explosion, blackened and shriveled, which suddenly float all around me.

This is the most wonderful ball of destruction, and the pieces of my life, crushed and burned, are scattered all around, as I carelessly float on the rippling, black surface with my groin filling up with an increasingly strong and deep current of water.

It's all over.

I think to myself, and that realization makes me feel strangely calm.

I float on the surface of the lake of my doom, feeling nothing but blissful serenity.

It's all over.

All around me is dust, burnt pieces of what I used to call life, the dead eyes of my parents looking at me from the darkness of the vast and ominous cosmos, and burning cinders, the waste that remains after everything.

I feel a wave of sudden current pulling me down. A strong, merciless vortex that tries to suck me in with all its might.

I grab the air and then hold my breath, surrender to it and let it wash over me, the black water is now in my eyes and ears, I am all under its surface, it carries me further, towards its deep black heart, and in a rush of helplessness I open my mouth, so that the thick liquid now fills my entire wide open cavity, and I feel the sweet, black taste on my outstretched tongue hungry for fresh air.

Danny pushes his thumb into my slightly parted lips, opening them slightly until the entire length of his thumb is in my mouth.

My eyes are wide open; I see black, thick bubbles floating in front of my nose, inexplicably I'm not short of air even though I'm deep below the dark, black, sticky surface.

A strong eddy pulls me further; I wonder how deep the entire lake is.

What is the depth of the abyss into which I fall, the vortex of passion that simultaneously inspires and suffocates me, and what is the strength of the current that threatens to change my life forever?

I get a strong, sweet taste in my mouth, and now I realize it's not water, but a pink-foamy piece of cotton candy.

I taste it in my mouth, hungrily running my tongue over the foamy-candy texture, melt it and suck it with my moist lumps, so that the sweetness is stronger and better, I suck more and more lustfully, and the pleasure spreads through my body, while the delicious, fragrant piece of cotton candy melts in my mouth.