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He looked up and pulled on the edge of his grey v-neck sweater. “So…we’re friends again…are we?”

“Yeah, I’d like to be, if you’ll have me.”

Friends…friends would have to do. A few weeks ago, they were on the cusp of so much more. The knot in her stomach loosened just enough to allow a deep breath to escape from her chest. “I’m…I’m so sorry, Mark.”

His shoulders relaxed, and he sat down beside her. “I’m sorry, too.” He smiled softly. “I hated how things were left. You were so upset…I’ve thought about it a lot. I should’ve handled things differently…told you about Naomi coming back to London, working here…”

He stuck a finger into a small rip in the knee of his jeans. “That night on the stairs, it took every ounce of my self-control not to run after you. But the last thing you needed was pressure from another bloke. I’m sorry I hurt you, Alex. It was never my intention.”

Mark opened his arms, and Alex welcomed his hug. She closed her eyes, inhaling slowly. He smelt heavenly, reminding her of when she first saw him. How stupid to risk losing…this. Her eyes grew misty.

“One piece of advice, though—please don’t assume that you have to tackle problems on your own. Life can be a bastard. Don’t push people away, especially when you need them the most…” Mark showed no signs of letting go. “It’s like you’re afraid of being left. I think maybe you pull the plug before it happens to you.”

“I know. I’ve been an idiot.” Alex blinked, trying to rein in the tears while he couldn’t see her face. “I never ask for help. Be gentle with me, okay? It’s a new thing, relying on other people.”

“Not other people—your friends, okay?” said Mark. “And you can count on me. I’m not going anywhere.”

He squeezed her and pulled away with that cheeky grin.

Alex took a deep breath. Time to test Mark on his word. “Even if you know my secret—that I have panic attacks?”

Mark held her hand. “Even if you have panic attacks—at least you keep things interesting!” He smiled. “I mean it. I won’t disappear on you.”

Alex sighed. That was easier than she had expected. Mark wasn’t put off, at all. Could he be any more perfect? A heavy tear escaped down her face, a reminder of her current reality. No wonder they were back in the Friend Zone—why would he want to kiss her when she was such a mess? She probably looked like a doll left out in the pouring rain—a mess of melted mascara, puffy eyes, and splotchy skin. She dropped her gaze to the floor, and in the absence of a tissue, hid her nose behind her free hand.

“Hey, now what’s the matter? You couldn’t have missed me that much.”

Alex wanted to laugh because she had missed him terribly, but his kind words unleashed a procession of silent tears. “I’ve been trying to hold it in…”

“Is it your dad? Your gran?”

She shook her head. “No, thank God. It’s Olivia—again. She dumped a massive coffee all over my laptop last night. Fried the hard drive. The computer guys couldn’t save it. What good is a writer without a laptop? I’m basically screwed.”

“Shit! They couldn’t save anything?”

“Nothing. My current projects, all gone. And before you ask about back-ups, I always do back-ups. I just haven’t for a few weeks…”

“Oh, Lex!”

“I know, I know. Losing my computer’s bad enough. I’ve had it forever, and I can’t afford a new one, but it’s my plays that…” The tears streamed fast and furious down her cheeks. She raised her hands to hide her ugly crying face; Mark didn’t need to see that.

“C’mere.” He gathered her back into his arms. “We’ll fix this.” He held her close in silence, thinking. Alex sank in and held on.

“I’d spot you a few quid, but I’m totally skint right now. My flight home for Christmas cleaned me out. You can borrow my laptop, though. It’s not fancy, but it’ll do the job.”

Alex tilted back, wiping her nose. “I can’t take your laptop.”

“Yes. You can and you will…and what are you doing this afternoon?”

“Feeling sorry for myself. Why?”

“There’s a private function in The Deck restaurant. The one on the roof? They want to pinch some of us, but we’re already short-staffed. You could go in my place. All you have to do is carry a tray of appetizers. Easy money, right? The quick cash can go towards your laptop fund. And if you’re free in the evenings this week, you could work their other private parties as well. Christmas is crazy busy around here.”

She blotted her eyes.

“I wish I could help with what you’ve lost writing-wise, but that’s out of my league. I’m sure it’s all still up there in that smart brain of yours, though…”

“You’d do all this for me? Why?”