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I always knew one day you’d want to know more about your birth father and might even search for him, but before you speak with him, I want to share some details to better prepare you for what might follow.

I met Will McNally when I was 20 and he was 22. One night, my friends and I went to a jazz club and this lovely man asked me to dance. I found him charming and funny, and his Canadian accent captivated me. By the end of the night, we’d made plans to see each other again. We went to the cinema and for dinner. I was smitten and, a few weeks in, fell pregnant. It was a surprise, but a beautiful one. I was in love with Will and it all felt meant to be.

When I told Will, he was shocked but truly happy. He took great care of me during the first months of my pregnancy, but then he got the call to return to his team in Detroit. He was torn about what to do but knew he couldn’t stay. Part of his salary which wasn’t much, not by today’s standards, went to help his parents. His father had been in a farm accident and could no longer work. Will asked me to come with him, but I was anxious about flying while pregnant and being left alone with a newborn in a strange country when he was away on road trips. He also spent summers back in Canada, and I wanted stability for you. I had that here in Sweden as well as a support system with my family.

Will’s leaving devastated me, but his weekly phone call and letters soothed that ache, as did his promise we’d be together one day. When you were born, he called and came to visit shortly thereafter, bringing flowers and a stuffed rabbit and the first of many cheques contributing to your care. His letters always asked how you were, how we were managing. He also visited during the offseason in 1960 and 1964, when he had a break from working his family’s farm. I was thrilled being with him again, but Will seemed different the summer of ’64, more a friend than a lover. His lack of romantic affection left me confused and upset. Still, I hoped that perhaps he was just going through something and the old Will I loved would return.

His letters and financial support continued, and I’d write about your schooling and what we were up to, but as the years passed, Will grew more vague about his life in America. I desperately wanted to know why, so when you were nine, I gave a letter and some recent pictures of you to a cousin who was travelling to Detroit for work. I asked him to visit the arena’s office to see if he could give them to Will and ask when we might see him again. However, before he could do so, he spotted Will in the lobby with a pretty brunette and overheard him introducing her to a teammate as his fiancée. Apparently, they’d known each other since school in Canada. When my cousin told me, it shattered my heart and any hopes I’d had of us reuniting as a family.

I feared if he and his new wife had children, you might feel second best, or worse, forgotten. I wanted to control that narrative, so I made a difficult decision—I cut off all ties with him. I sent back his letters and cheques unopened and changed our telephone number. We could’ve used the money, but what I had with Will had never been about financial gain. You and I didn’t want for much, anyway. When you have limitless amounts of love, what more do you need?

I know I portrayed Will as a terrible person and a bad father, but in my mind, it was the only way I could ensure you wouldn’t hold out hope of him coming back for us. I also didn’t want to burden you, my beautiful, sensitive boy, with too much information about our failed relationship. What happened between Will and me was no reflection on you—ever.

I hope you’ll forgive me for keeping the truth from you until now. Every choice I made was out of love.

Your Mamma, always. xo

Swallowing hard, Oliver lowered the letter, his thoughts tangled.

Georgie rubbed his back. “You okay?”

“I’m…shocked. I always thought it was Will who distanced himself.”

“I feel for your mother,” said Georgie. “Must’ve been so difficult, wanting the best for you while struggling with her feelings, never knowing if the Will she fell in love with would return.”

Oliver wiped his nose. “I never saw her cry when she spoke about him.”

“But that’s mums, right? Doing whatever it takes to protect their kids, even if it means hiding a broken heart.” Georgie stroked his back again. “It sounds like Will didn’t have the guts to end things, so she made that decision for him.”

“Maybe. Fuck, I don’t know what to feel anymore.” Oliver gestured with the letter. “This was not what I expected.”

“I’m surprised you’ve met him.”

“So am I. I would’ve been six the last time, but I have zero recollection of him or his visits.”

“He flew over three times in six years. That’s a big deal,” said Georgie. “Players made a pittance back then and airfare wasn’t cheap.”

“I guess.” Oliver folded the letter and slipped it into its envelope. “Is that why he didn’t come see me after ties were severed? He couldn’t afford it?”

Falling into silence for several beats, Georgie laid her head on his shoulder.

“What do you think you’ll do?” she asked.

“Meet him, tell him who I am. Although, I don’t know if that’ll change anything.”

“Do you feel you’ve missed out, having a relationship?”

“Yes and no,” Oliver answered on a sigh. “Occasionally, I get a pang of envy when people talk about their dads.”

Georgie looked mournful. “Sorry I talk about mine so much.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Oh Bug, I enjoy hearing your stories. I don’t begrudge the love you two shared for a single second. But I keep asking myself: how can I miss what I’ve never had?”

“Would you like a relationship with him now?”

Oliver pulled in a breath and slowly let it go. “I don’t know. On one hand, I think, yeah, I really would, better late than never, but on the other, would I be opening myself up to an emotional shit storm? My therapist and I talked about it years ago, but I never came to a conclusion. I never thought I’d actually be in this position.”

“I guess it depends on how he reacts, right?” asked Georgie. “If he’s kind or gets defensive.”