Page 79 of Ruthless Edge

"Two thousand dollars," Knox says.

The room goes loud. It's not a cheer exactly, more like the sound of a crowd that feels happy to be part of something interesting that’s happening. Dr. Neely asks if anyone wants to go higher and gives it four seconds and then the gavel comes down.

Two thousand dollars. The largest bid of the night.

I walk down from the stage.

The applause is still going and Dr. Neely is already transitioning to the next woman as the room is settling back into the warm noise of a successful event. I'm walking toward Knox's table because that's where I'm supposed to go, and I'm about to reach it when it hits me.

I stop.

Knox just spent two thousand dollars on me.

Three years ago, I sat at a table with white linens and two untouched water glasses waiting for him to show up. I listened to three girls laugh while Laura gave me that soft, pitying look and told me he wasn't coming. I held myself together until I was three blocks away before I finally cried.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with both of those things being true.

He's looking at me now the way he looked at me from the stage, like I'm something he's been waiting on, and all that's changed is what I look like. I'm in a different body than the one that sat at that table for three hours. I lost nearly forty pounds and now Knox Carter is spending two thousand dollars and looking at me like I matter. That thought makes my chest ache.

Feeling tears sting my eyes, I turn.

I go toward the side of the room, away from the tables, away from the stage, toward the side exit doors, and I push through them before I've finished deciding to, and the cold March air hits me and I keep walking.

"Emma."

Knox's voice behind me.

I walk faster. There's a narrow path along the side of the building where the exterior lights barely reach, and I follow it because I need to get around the corner before he sees my face, and I almost make it.

He catches up before the first bend. He's longer-legged than I am and he doesn't have heels on. He catches my arm, and I stop because there's no point in running and I hate that my face is already wet.

"Emma." His voice changes when he sees me. "Hey. What's wrong?"

I pull my arm. He doesn't let go. "Don't."

"Talk to me. What happened?"

"You can't do this." My voice doesn't sound the way I want it to. "You can't just spend two thousand dollars on a date with me and look at me like that and act like everything is fine when I wasn't good enough for you before."

"What are you⁠—"

"When I was fat." I look at him directly because I'm not going to do this while looking away. "You didn't want me then. Nothing has changed except what I look like, and I can't do this, Knox, I can't let myself⁠—"

"Emma." He steps closer and his hand comes up to my face and he makes me look at him. "I wanted you before. I wanted you the first week of class freshman year. I sat beside you every single day."

"You studied with me because you needed help."

"I had a ninety-three in that class," he says. His voice is not gentle the way it usually is, it's certain, like it’s really important to him that I understand what he’s saying. "I had an A. I didn't need help. I just wanted to spend time with you."

Disbelief moves through me. “There’s no way.”

“Emma,” he gives an embarrassed smile, “I know I come across like an idiot, but I’m actually pretty good in school. I’ve never needed study groups or tutors before.”

“No.” I refuse to believe it. “You were using me for a grade.”

He meets and holds my gaze. “Seeing you was always the highlight of my week. I did everything I could to spend more time with you.”

I shake my head. "Then the gala⁠—"