Page 112 of Bound to Three Fae Beasts

Gareth grumbled, “We’ll talk about it further.”

Azriel lifted her hands. “Later. For right now, it makes sense. We need to divert suspicion, and if we aren’t alone together, maybe the rumors will stop. Besides, we have more important things to worry about. The final binding trial has been announced. I saw the flyers on my way over here.”

I leaned forward, my nerves on edge immediately. They’d made the announcement so soon after the recent unbinding? This must be Quincy trying to get ahead of the inevitable fallout. “What are they going to be?”

“The entire school is going through it together. First years all the way to fifth years. The details weren’t shared, but it’s happening in one month. One month. And then….” She leaned forward.

All the levels, going through the trials at once? A chill stole over me. That meant Rusco would have clear access to me. In the binding trials, he could kill me without it officially impacting court politics. Worse, he could target Azriel, knowing it would hurt me.

And if we start keeping our distance now, he’ll take it as proof of my feelings, I realized. The distance would protect her from the rumors and keep her identity from being leaked, but Rusco would watch. He would see it as the protective measure it was.

“We’ll have to find out exactly what the trials are,” Gareth said in a low growl. “So we can protect you.”

“And Freta and Silas,” Azriel said. Despite how pale and uncertain she looked, her voice was hard. Determined. “Silas is close to getting his beast. I know it. And Freta, she’s not weak. Just because she’s not a fighter doesn’t mean she’s weak. She’s fast and clever and compassionate. That’s not weak. This place can’t destroy them. You have to help me protect them.”

Jasper knelt beside her while I pinched the bridge of my nose. Gareth made some guttural noise that I didn’t know how to read.

“Azriel, I’m not sure it’s possible,” Jasper said softly. “Unless Silas gets his beast … Manilow is putting a lot of pressure on the Academy. We’re not supposed to survive the trials if we’re weak-bound, let alone unbound.”

“I’m not giving up on them.”

“You might need to, for your own survival.”

A crash made me look up again. Azriel had jumped to her feet, knocking over the little stand next to her chair. Her hands clenched as she shook her head. Jasper got to his feet, holding out his hands to her, but she shoved him away.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Just because you don’t want it to be true doesn’t make it so,” Gareth said. He didn’t look at her as he spoke. “Maybe if we’d accepted the mate-bond before now, we’d have time to figure something out. Take them as servants under the agreement that they wouldn’t be permitted to reproduce—”

“No!” Azriel shouted. “No! I will burn down all the courts if I have to. I’m not going to let them die!”

She started for the door. I sprang to my feet and blocked her. “Azriel, please. Don’t go. Not yet.”

Her jaw set stubbornly as she glared up at me. “My friends need me.”

“You’re our mate. We’re tired together for eternity, and nothing is more important than keeping you safe,” I told her, desperate for her to understand. “We don’t have room for anything else. Not with how this world is. Compassion is a weakness. It will get us all killed. It’s not fair, but it’s true.”

“It’s not true.”

“It is, because our world has made it true.”

She shook her head again. “You—all of you—were cruel to me. You treated me terribly and laughed when Quincy talked about killing people in the trials. I’m not special because you see me. I’m special because I’m your mate. But this is not the world I want to live in. I won’t live in it. I finally found people who care about me because I’m me. I’m not losing them. Not for anything, certainly not for my own life.”

Her voice broke on the final word. Her knees buckled and she sank to the floor, but when I reached for her, she wouldn’t let me touch her. Sobs ripped up her throat as she bent over herself. And I just stood there, useless.

This isn’t a world I want to live in. Did that mean if they died, so would she, even if we got her through the trials alive?

Chapter 49 - Azriel

The month went by so quickly that I felt like I slept through it. Everything was difficult. Eating, sleeping, studying. It all just felt so pointless. I tried so hard to be strong for Freta and Silas, to give them hope when their own was so fragile, but I felt as though I was cracking open every time I looked at them and saw the fear in their eyes.

Those cracks only seemed to grow wider when I was near my mates and unable to touch them. Everything felt so insurmountable, but I kept pushing forward. I concentrated on helping Freta and Silas as much as I could, determined I wasn’t going to lose them the way I lost Penry.

Finally, the night of the final binding trial arrived. The entire school was gathered in the great hall, where we were served copious amounts of food and alcohol. Lots of the students indulged to extremes. A few broke down sobbing into their cups. Others started to have sex on the banquet tables.

Flora maneuvered herself to be close to Seb, though she didn’t speak. They shared only one glance, and I wondered about what I saw there. It wasn’t pure hostility, but nor was it warm. Not that it mattered. Whatever was happening there, I’d deal with when the future came. We all ate but none of us drank. Gareth gave us small pointers when he thought of them, but Jasper and Seb both seemed to be too preoccupied to speak.

Eventually, Quincy called for the hall to quiet. A magical hush came over us, muting out voices. He beamed at us, as though he was about to give us a surprise. “Tonight, you will go through the Surrender. First, you will navigate the forest to the appointed place, on the outskirts of the Dark Wood. There, you will be released into the darkness and driven to surrender your civilized mind. You will become the beast!”