Page 41 of Ruthless Game

And then I’d be done with her.

My chest squeezed tight at the thought, but the part of me that didn’t want to be done with her was the kid in me who was still in love with her. I knew what I needed, and it was to hurt her until I got my power back, and then, when I finally felt whole again, to fuck her and leave her broken.

So then why did the thought make me feel broken?

A puck sailed right past my shoulder, hitting the net behind me.

“Goddamn it, Lawson, you were so close to a perfect game.” Judah shook his head, skating away. “All of you are pussy whipped, I swear.”

I wasn’t pussy whipped, but I needed to get any guilt or … whatever the hell was going on with me, out of my head. Torturing Emma was the answer. I had a hazy memory of saying something to her last night that made her cry as I fell asleep, and although whatever it had been felt awful, it had done the job.

Except I hated her tears.

Another puck sailed past me.

Nick, our left wing now that Jack was in the NHL, skated in a circle, stick lifted over his head, like he’d won the scrimmage.

“Don’t take that as a real win, McPherson,” the devil himself called from the stands, where he sat with Isaac Silver, his best friend and our former center. Their season hadn’t started yet, so they were visiting. “If Lawson hadn’t just disappeared inside his head right now, you’d be 0 for 3.”

Nick ignored them. “As fun as that was, Lawson, it’s not going to feel nearly as fun if you let us down in our first game against Tabb tomorrow.”

“I won’t,” I said.

“I want to know what thought got in his head,” Asher called from the bench. “One second, he was all over the puck, the next, he’s got hands like feet.”

Judah snorted. “Couldn’t stop a beach ball.”

“His glove hand may as well be optional,” Levi chimed in.

Judah glared at him. “Shut your mouth. You aren’t part of this.”

“Bro, hate to break it to you, but we’re twins,” Levi pointed out unhelpfully, eyebrow raised. Gesturing at Judah, he said, “I’m always going to be a part of this.”

Briefly distracted from my own shit, I looked at Asher, and then at Jack and Isaac.

What’s going on with them? I mouthed.

Girl, mouthed Asher, looking amused.

Girl, mouthed Isaac.

“They’re fucked up over a woman,” Jack said out loud.

The twins glowered but said nothing.

“Just like Lawson,” Asher added, smirking. “Looks like it’s catching.”

“You better watch out then, little brother,” Jack called. “Because you’re next.”

“Can I be next?” Nick asked. “Because as crazy as some of the shit y’all get up to is, it seems fun. I want in.”

“Work on your wall play and we’ll talk, lil’ bro,” Jack told him.

Asher was clearly uninterested in their byplay. “Don’t fucking call me that, Feldman,” he growled, smirk gone. “You’re my brother-in-law, not my older anything. I’ve accepted that you’re with my sister forever, mainly because you wouldn’t let her go if she tried. But don’t think I⁠—”

“Enough!” Coach yelled. “Is this hockey practice, or are you all trying out for some new fucking sitcom about a bunch of washed-up hockey players too busy bantering to remember there’s a puck in play? Forget the scrimmage. We’re doing a bag skate. All of you.” As we all groaned, he tipped his chin at Isaac and Jack. “You two are lucky you didn’t bring your skates.”

Exhausted from the bag skate, but slightly more clearheaded, I followed the rest of the team into the locker room. Asher had been right: I’d been doing great until a thought got stuck in my head. But what had that thought been? Remembering that the point of all this was to fuck Emma and leave her broken so I could move on knowing I’d gotten my own back?