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Back in my office, I watch the replay of Nadra getting arrested. While in the air she probably didn’t get the news. She was surrounded by reports and police officers who put her in handcuffs, right after they played videos of her taking drugs and pictures of her doing drugs. They read the law that she had violated, and I see the moment she realizes that she can’t escape her father’s draconian rule.

Now that’s the face that’s worth a thousand words. Jade doesn’t need to see this.

Jade and I return to her place. We eat and talk some. I decided not to mention my visit to my dad, or the possible job offer from my uncle. I just need to focus on us. She talks to the children, and we get into bed.

“There’s something I need to discuss with you,” she says to me. I know that tone and I don’t like it.

“Is something wrong?”

“Depends on how you see it, the delivery of the twins was complicated as I mentioned before. Doctors told me not to get pregnant again. I have fifty–fifty chances of me or the baby surviving. I need you to know that.” This can’t be happening. It’s too real for me.

“I’m fine with us not having any more children,” I reply, I need to squash any thought of her getting pregnant.

“But I want one more child, remember I told you back then that I wanted three. I was going to settle with Knox because he was okay with not having any children but with you, I want one more child.”

“Not going to happen, Jade. If it puts your life in danger, you need to start being fine with the two we have.”

“Naseer, please. Hear me out.” I sigh.

“The answer is no, Jade, I can’t gamble with your life. That’s a chance I’m not willing to take,” I firmly state.

“Can we at least get a second opinion, what if the doctors are wrong plus I was told that five years ago, Science and technology improved daily, and the chances of my safe delivery could be higher now.”

“Jade, please be fine with the four of us” My mind is racing. What are the odds of her being given fifty–fifty chances? I can’t let history repeat itself.

“I can’t, I’ve tried but I yearn for another child. Think about it, Naseer, you will be there the whole time for this one.”

“Fine, I’ll think about it, but I doubt my mind will change.”

“Thank you.” She leans into me and sleeps. I get out of bed once I notice she’s deeply asleep.

I can’t take the gamble she’s asking me to take. I watch her sleep and my mind travels back to conversation with my grandfather. Our paths have been too similar.

“What happened to my grandmother,” I asked. He always talks about their love, and how she walked right into his life. He said she walked into the wrong room for a job interview. As soon as he saw her, he wasn’t going to let her go. He did everything to keep her close to him.

“Your grandmother died after giving birth to your mother,” he’d said sadly.

“So, my mom caused your love to die,” I said and he’d laugh.

“No, Naseer. Your grandmother had given birth to your uncle and the doctors had told us that her chances of having another child safely was fifty-fifty but she insisted that having another child was worth the gamble. She won’t listen to any reason. Well, she did have your mother and died a few weeks later. She told me, I should love your mother and that she was worth the gamble.”

“How did you feel when she died and was my mom worth grandma dying.”

“I was very sad, but your mother was worth the gamble because you Naseer are here and seeing you makes me happy everyday.” I smiled and hugged him.

“Did you regret her taking the gamble?”

“I try not to dwell on regret but the beautiful daughter I have and the grandchildren I have because of her gamble. Your uncle can’t have children so I’m glad your grandmother took the chance because it gave my life color and beauty.”

“When I get older, I won’t let my wife gamble because I would be sad to lose my love.”

“Yes, you will, or you might miss out on the color, that decision is not yours. It’s hers.”

Looking at Jade now. I have more fear of losing her. Most of my grandfather’s words have come true. Jade had walked into the wrong room and my life unexpectedly and I almost missed it. I’d done everything to keep her close to me. I can’t lose her now.

My decision is NO. I’m not as strong as my grandfather. I can’t lose Jade again.

The next morning, she leaves for work. I called Brian on Skype.