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“A plan? Sam, you just found out your husband was screwing your sister. The only plan you should have involves a baseball bat and his damn kneecaps. I can give you a few pointers on where to hit for maximum damage.”

“Thanks for that.” I let out a soft chuckle. “But I already did the public humiliation thing. Played their sex tape at the reception.”

“You did not.”

“Oh, I did. Full audio. Sophie moaning his name while two hundred guests tried to figure out where to look.”

“That’s my girl.” I could hear the vicious satisfaction in her voice. “How’d the families take it?”

“Sophie faked a fainting spell. Garrett tried to grab my phone. My mother made excuses about how ‘men have needs.’ His parents looked like they were having simultaneous strokes. It was a whole thing.”

“Your mother said what now?”

“Apparently infidelity is just boys being boys. Who knew?”

“I’m so sorry for saying this but what the fuck? I’ll kill any of them. Just say the word.”

“Can’t. You took an oath to do no harm.”

“That oath has exceptions.”

I almost smiled. “I need to find a lawyer. And figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life.”

“Come to Chicago. Seriously. My apartment’s tiny but my couch is comfortable and I make excellent breakup margaritas.”

“Thanks, but I actually have something else in mind. I sort of bought a house last night.”

“You what?”

“Not bought. Made an offer. On a cottage in Tennessee that looks like it hasn’t been updated since disco was cool.”

“Sam…”

“I know it sounds insane.” I sighed.

“It sounds like you’re running away.”

“I prefer to think of it as a strategic retreat.”

“To Tennessee?”

“No one will look for me in Tennessee.”

She hummed. “Okay. Okay, if that’s what you need. I see the logic in that. But promise me you’ll call if you need anything, even if it’s just to scream into the void.”

“Promise.”

“And Sam? For what it’s worth, Garrett’s an idiot. And your sister’s a whore. And your mother needs therapy.”

“I love you too, Jess.”

After I hung up, I finally faced the mountain of messages waiting for me. I started with Sophie’s because apparently I was a masochist.

“How could you do this to me? I’m PREGNANT Sam. The stress could hurt the baby.”

“You humiliated me in front of EVERYONE.”

“This was between us and you made it public. So vindictive. You’ve always been like this.”