City Girl for the Cowboy Daddy
Page 154
“Okay.”
“Close your eyes.”
She closed them.
I sat beside her on the bench. Put my arm around her shoulders. Drew her against my side. She came. Her head found my shoulder. The rope held her hands in her lap and my arm held her against me and the tack room was quiet around us — the cedar and the neatsfoot and the dust in the light shaft and Nickel’s bucket and the creek outside, all of it present and all of it held.
“Whenever you’re ready,” I said.
She was quiet for a long time. I didn’t count it. I’d given her an hour and the hour was hers and the counting was mine.
“Denver,” she said.
The word came out flat. Dry. The professional register, deployed to introduce a project. She said it the way she said “August capacity” and “sustained volume” and every other term she used to keep the world organized.
“It was a music festival. Riverline in Denver. Three days, temporary grandstands, the biggest build Halloran had that summer.”
Her breathing was even. Controlled. The breathing of a woman reading a report aloud.
“There was a site lead. Everyone liked him. He was funny, he bought coffee for the whole crew, he remembered people’s kids’ names.” Her voice didn’t change at all. “I flagged the grandstand twice. The second time was the afternoon before, after his crew had changed a bracing detail. Both times he told me he’d walked it himself and I was working too hard and I should eat something.”
She was quiet for a second.
“I was on hour sixty. I let it go. I didn’t go back and look.”
Her voice changed. Not the break I expected — a thinning, a narrowing, the words getting smaller and coming faster.
“The section came down during the headline set. Eleven people. Most of them walked away with stitches.” Her breath caught. “One of them didn’t. His name was Marcus. He was twenty-two and he was in hospital for six weeks and they didn’t know for four days whether he’d walk.”
She stopped.
The rope moved in her lap. Her fingers tightened around it. I felt the tension travel through the cotton, through the bridge between her wrists, the vibration of a woman holding something because the alternative was falling.
“He walked again,” she said. “Eventually. Three surgeries and eighteen months.”
“Whose company was it?”
“Halloran’s. I was staff. I wasn’t a principal, I wasn’t insured in my own name, I didn’t sign the contract.” She said it flatly, the way she said figures. “The review cleared me. It said I’d raised the concern twice and I had no authority over the crew. It said I did everything I was supposed to do.”
“And?”
“And I didn’t go back and look.”
“How long ago?” I asked.
“Two years in September.”
“Did you see him after?”
“Once. In the hospital. He was in a brace and he couldn’t turn his head and he said it wasn’t my fault.” Her voice was smaller now. “And he was right. Everyone was right. And if I’d walked back out there at two in the morning and put my hands on that bracing myself, he’d have been at work on the Monday.”
“You were tired.”
“I was tired. I’d been on site sixty hours.” The rope trembled. “And a man I liked told me to eat something, and I did what he said, and a twenty-two-year-old’s back broke.”
Her breathing changed. The evenness broke. I felt it in her ribs against my side — the rhythm losing its measure, the control she’d been maintaining fraying at the edge.
“I left within the month. Borrowed against nothing and started Nair and Co., and the debt for that is still sitting in my accounts thumping once a month.” She looked at the rope in her lap. “And everyone in Denver knows my name is attached to it, and half of them are kind about it, and the kind ones are worse.”