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City Girl for the Cowboy Daddy

Page 76

by Lucky Moon

I lifted the clipboard out of her hands.

Her fingers held for a second. Not gripping — holding, the reflexive grasp of someone whose hands didn’t know how to let go of work. Then her fingers opened, and the clipboard came free, and I had it.

I set it on the counter behind me. Face-down.

Her phone buzzed. She reached for it.

I picked it up first.

I turned it face-down, walked to the far side of the room, and set it on the crate by the door. Out of arm’s reach. Out of earshot of the table. The screen went dark against the wood.

“Hey,” she said. “I need—”

“Off shift.”

Two words. I said them quiet. Not a whisper — quieter than my normal voice, quieter than the jokes, quieter than the performance I ran in every room I’d ever entered. Just two words, spoken at the volume of two a.m. in a bunkhouse with one lamp and a woman who hadn’t stopped working since seven in the morning.

She looked at me.

Her mouth opened. The shape of it was familiar — I’d seen it all day, the beginning of a protest, the first syllable of I’ve got it or I’m fine or that’s not necessary, the automatic architecture of a woman who’d been refusing help so long it came up like a cough.

She closed her mouth.

Her hand was still on the table where the clipboard had been. Fingers spread against the wood, holding the shape of something that wasn’t there anymore. She looked at her hand. Then at me. Then at her hand again.

She closed her fingers. Slowly. One by one, until her hand was a loose fist on the empty table.

Then she stood.

She didn’t argue. She didn’t explain. She didn’t say I’ve got it.

She stood, and she pushed her chair in. She picked up the cold coffee and carried it to the sink and poured it out, and she washed the mug, just as she had done this morning.

She did it the way she did everything. Precise. Thorough. Each motion complete.

Then she turned off the lamp.

The bunkhouse went dark except for the coals in the stove and the thin line of moonlight through the window. I stood near the table. She stood near the sink. Six feet of dark bunkhouse floor between us.

“Goodnight, Cash,” she said.

“Goodnight, Priya.”

She walked past me to the back room. Her bare feet on the plank floor, the soft sound of someone who knew how to move quietly in a space that wasn’t hers. The door closed behind her with a click that was careful, deliberate, the sound of a woman who closed doors the way she did everything else — with intention.

I stood in the dark.

My hands were empty.

I’d taken the clipboard out of her hands and the phone off the table and said two words, and she’d listened. Not because I’d ordered her, not because I’d charmed her, not because I’d made a case or an argument or a joke. She’d listened because I’d asked, and the asking had been enough.

Something sat in my chest that I didn’t have a name for. Heavier than satisfaction. Quieter than want. It felt like holding something I’d been given permission to hold, which was a different thing from taking it, and the difference was the whole of it.

The light under her door went out.

I went back to my mattress and lay down in the dark and listened to the bunkhouse settle — the stove ticking, the wind against the roof, the creek running somewhere below the house in the dark.

She was sleeping.